Eye Of the Bee Holder

We have touched on this before that lust is the cotton candy of the eye. But just like anything sugary sweet, too much of it will eventually make you sick and could possibly kill you. No, not 6 feet under per say, but physically, emotionally and in the most damaging way, spiritually; it can destroy every moral fiber. That is why I cannot stress to you how important it is that if you still find it hard to look past what you see and dive deep into what you feel, please take the time to regroup, rethink and refresh. Your mind, body and spirit will thank you. Not to mention, those close to you will thank you, like your lover, spouse, friends and associates. As for singles, quality and caliber speaks volumes in your character when your physical desires are reserved for the right time.

It is merely a misconstrued notion that true desire comes from pleasure in the flesh. However, it is true that to please the soul is divine. Love making is an art, not an exploitation. This is by design; on purpose for a purpose. Procreation not recreation. When you enter into a healthy and whole relationship with your partner, the physical becomes temporary and the emotional becomes permanent. Another way to say it; sex is temporary, love making is permanent. One is physical, the other is emotional.


Love making is more than an outward expression of feelings for one another, it is a way of communicating a deeper connection to each other. From this great unity, a miracle can happen. We are fruitful and multiply, creating a special being, through love. Just as man was created in love, so shall we reproduce "in love."

 But choose wisely and heed that you do not enter marriage with unusual doubts, unrealistic ideas or unattainable expectations. These are ingredients for failure. The marriage bed is the only place for the art of love making and should be treated with decency and respect. It is the want of the flesh that perverts and distorts the true nature and beauty of this sacred bond between man and woman. There is nothing wrong with starting over.

For those of you who are already in committed, monogamous relationships, if you are looking to rekindle that spark between you, this is one of many constructive ways to do it. (No pun intended.)  Remember how exciting it was to anticipate being with your lover and friend for the first time? Revisit this. And this goes for new couples as well. Start out traditionally, as nature intended. Don't worry, the exploration and learning or relearning of each other will come later. (Again: no pun intended.)

Traditional love making rekindles a youthful spark that if done right, will feel new again to you and your body. This is where romance, foreplay and infatuation finds its way into the picture as well. It may not be your first time, but it will feel like the first time and in some ways, you fall in love, literally, all over again. If you have struggled with sex addiction, porn addiction, promiscuity, polygamy, self-consciousness, low self-esteem or any other issues that keep you from truly making love, then you may need to work deeper and harder on yourself first and then work on the love making with your partner. And there is help for all of these issues and more, you just have to want it bad enough and change will find you.

Love making can be a joyful, profound experience when mind, body and spirit come together in two people that truly love each other. And when you reach this climax, you will feel a rush of indescribable pleasure that no sex can bring. As the saying goes, use your heart and not your eyes. Know who you are in love and spirit; not just in flesh. And then ask, do I love you or do I lust you and hopefully the heart will reply, I love you.

I'm DeMaster Thomas and this is Real Living

Table for One, Please

Table For One

A short story by: DeMaster A. Thomas
#091201400P

Welcome back to Solitude. "Table for one?" The hostess says. "As usual," I reply wittingly. I order the same thing everyday; tossed salad and scrambled eggs. I get my regular spot by the window...sit and stare into the traffic. The busy city streets blends nicely with the skyline in the distance. My mind wanders with each gaze and bite, with random thoughts of life and how bad this actually tastes.

I came up with a number of reasons of why my life was the way it was at this moment. Did I choose this path or did the path choose me? Were my actions in life proactive or reactive? What if God has something else planned for me and I just haven't found it? In the end, we learn and grow from each experience. The eggs settle as a touch of gas passes through my mind...

Scattered thoughts tell me that it is a combination of all of the above-and more. After all, I have family and friends that have overcome some pretty serious obstacles in their lives. And I am simply amazed at their ability to move forward with such strength and perseverance. It is calming and brings a smile to acknowledge their accomplishments.

Come to think of it, I've learned a lot from the people around me and yet here I sit...alone...still searching for whatever it was I was looking for. I know that it was not to be alone. Again. Or was it?

  Hey, here I am! It reads, "never married, no children". Laughing to myself, I'm thinking, yeah and no career either to chip away at the lonely hours of the day. Bachelor-hood has engulfed me. "Check please? Thanks," I say with half a smile. The waitress is attractive and expresses pity for me behind her eyes. Can't help but laugh a little every time the check comes...wow, how cheap it is to live alone. Yep. Alone in a life that is simple yet unique. It was mine and no one could take that away from me. I have overcome my own share of trials and obstacles and lived to tell. Love, laughter and peace were daily ingredients in my recipe for life. And for that, I am thankful. 

 
Then, I realize-wait. I am still me. I am not defined by a job, social status, physical build or level of intelligence. I am a direct reflection of the soul within. Underneath a blanket of depression, there is a light of pure joy. And with that warm reminder I choose, at this moment, to throw that hurtful blanket away.

This is my bed of memories and I don't have to lay in self pity. I can make a fresh clean path, starting today. I just have to choose to. I sign the check and grab my coat to leave, smiling the whole way through. I decide at this very moment, it's okay to dream. It's okay to believe in myself and be truly happy with my accomplishments.

It's okay to be a bit awkward and misunderstood. It's okay to be - me. After all, who else can I be? No one else is as good at being me than I am. On that note, I head out the door of the deli and promise myself from this day on, I will do things differently...starting with ordering the house special of the day.

Mid Life: Crisis or Crossroad?

So you've reached mid-life...

Relax, don't panic and slowly step away from the dealership...the secretary...the pool boy...and the 'mirror, mirror on the wall'! It's going to be okay. Breathe. There you go. Now. Let's face it. It's midlife, most of us do not look forward to this day. We dread wearing black and cringe at jokes and wise cracks like Lordy, Lordy look who's 40! And god forbid someone gives you yet another card or balloon that says, "Over the Hill!" Who invented those anyway? Probably someone in their late 20's or early 30's.

Nonetheless, one thing is for certain, if you have reached your idea of what you consider to be your mid-life, remember that along the way, you have gained insight and wisdom and you have learned to perceive things differently. You have come to see things are not always as they seemed through the young and ambitious rose-colored glasses. You have come to learn and appreciate the old saying, "money can't buy you love" and of course, like most, you have come to find that "chasing the dollar bill" and "climbing the corporate ladder" only leads to two things: arthritis and migraines!

And then there are matters of the heart. If you are like most, you have been around the block a time or two when it comes to love and relationships. You have experienced the good and bad of healthy and unhealthy relationships, you have discovered what it means to love someone and you have learned to love yourself and others as God loves you...right? Okay, so maybe we don't always get that one completely right. But that's okay. It's all part of the journey.



Because you see, there is truth in the old saying, age before beauty. Things that were considered priority to you at 20, are not as important at 30. And things that were important to you at 30, don't seem to matter as much at 40. This is because as we get older, our tastes, likes and dislikes, even our habits, tend to change. This is a good thing. So you may or may not be the strongest guy at the gym or the hottest girl at the club, but you are the most distinguished gentleman among your peers and the most accomplished woman in your field.

Mid-life is not a crisis-it is a crossroad. It's all in how you look at it. Stop. Do the inventory on your life. Did you achieve the career and love goals you set out to attain? Did you make a string of decisions that led you astray? Were you on the right track and got detoured somewhere along the way? No matter how you got here, you're here! Welcome to today: the first day of the rest of your life. And it is a good place to be, because now you have the wonderful opportunity to apply a very simple but effective principle: concentrate on the present and use the past as a guide for future.

Today, you can choose to make healthier decisions for yourself and your family. If you've been meaning to start exercising and eating right, rebuilding or repairing a broken bond with your spouse, children, family or friends then guess what! You can! It starts with you and it starts today. The Corvette is not going to love you back. The secretary will disappear when the money does and the pool boy is tweeting that he bagged a cougar or a sugar mama literally within minutes on Facebook and Twitter.

If you've been meaning to start that new hobby, take that new class or that much needed vacation, now is the time.

There are several sites with activities, advice and information available online for mid-life crossroad travelers. Now there is something that you can take with you down the road of the second half of your life: that spark that burned inside of you to finish college, raise a family or run your own business, it's still there, waiting for you. All of the things on your list that you haven't done yet, with realistic approach, revisit them and when able, take the appropriate steps to experience them. This could be any of the things mentioned here or other things like write a book, start a website or take up a new interest like teaching or community volunteering. The applications of your accomplishments and knowledge cover such a wide variety of areas.

Many believe that once at the mid-life mark, they lose their ability to make a difference in the life of others and for themselves. Nothing is further from the truth. Maybe you didn't have children, there is adoption, foster parent programs and mentor programs. Maybe you didn't finish school, there are night classes, online courses and tailored education programs that fit just about any budget and assessment level. Maybe you never had a faith base or believed in yourself, there are several churches, organizations and non-denominational groups available that can help you to find the best path for your spiritual journey.

click to enlarge

Lastly, remember that you matter. You matter to others in more ways than you may imagine and you touch more people thank you think. You are at that fantastic point in life that rewards you with fulfillment of your purpose in life. You do have a purpose; you do have goals; you do have a reason. It is not about reliving the first half of your life all over again, it is not about giving up on the people and things in your life that truly matter and it's definitely not about giving up on the 2nd half of your life and doing nothing at all.


It is now, that you take your experience and turn it from success into significance. Everything you've been through up to this point, in some way or another, can be a lesson and blessing to someone else coming up behind you. Be ready to pass on your knowledge, love and passions to the ones who follow. Sometimes, your pothole is their speed bump; your failure is their success. Sometimes, you can help prevent or help someone else get through a similar situation in their life. Your mid life crossroad was the cure to their 1st half of life crisis. See how that works? 

By being a lesson and blessing to others, you will find new purpose, new fulfillment, new reason, new hope, new light: new faith in the foundation of your beliefs, new love in hearts of the ones closest to you and most importantly, yourself.

Until next time, I am De Thomas and this - is Real Living.

Poetry Corner

Prayers transcend space and time. 

In our prayers, we open the mind and explore the soul.

We go where the spirit takes us. 

Phone Call To God

by: DeMaster Thomas

Hello God, I called tonight to talk a while.

I need a friend once again who’ll listen to my trials.

You see, I can’t seem to make it through one day on my own.

I need your love to guide me so I’ll never feel alone.

I want to ask you please to keep my family safe and sound. 

Come in and fill their lives for whatever fate they’re bound.

Give me faith dear God to face each hour throughout the day.

And not to worry over things I can’t change anyway.

I thank you God for always taking my calls.

I thank you for giving me advice and catching me when I fall.

Your number, God, is the only one that answers every time.
I never get a busy signal and never had to pay a dime.

So thanks God again for easing my sorrow.
Good night, I love you, too. And I'll talk to you tomorrow :-)

Eat Good-Live Better!

Diabetic Diet for Non-Diabetics

Nov 3, 2010 | By Anne Tourney

Photo Credit Andrea Bricco/Brand X Pictures/Getty Images

Overview

Following a diabetic diet plan could improve your health whether you're diabetic or not, says MayoClinic.com. Diabetics and non-diabetics alike can benefit from the simple, non-restrictive guidelines for healthy eating that the American Diabetes Association, or ADA, has established. Weight loss on this plan doesn't require buying expensive supplements, taking medication or making radical dietary changes that you can't maintain; it's a matter of following basic nutritional principles that help control your blood sugar and your weight.

Diabetes and Prediabetes

Diabetes mellitus is a disease in which your body can no longer process sugar normally. In type 1 diabetes, the body does not produce insulin, the hormone that allows you to utilize sugar. Type 1 diabetes usually starts in childhood and requires insulin therapy to keep blood sugar stable. Type 2 diabetes, the most common form of the disease, develops when your body has stopped producing enough insulin or responding to insulin. In prediabetes, your blood sugar is high enough to indicate that you are at risk for developing type 2 diabetes. Risk factors for prediabetes include a family history of type 2 diabetes, being overweight and inactive or having a diet that elevates blood sugar. Prediabetes is a reversible condition that can be prevented with diet and lifestyle changes, says the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, or CDC.

Dietary Guidelines

The diabetic diet aims to prevent diabetes and its complications by maintaining healthy blood sugar levels and body weight. Instead of excluding foods from your diet, the ADA recommends eating more fruits and non-starchy vegetables, whole grains, lean meats and legumes, non-fat dairy products and unsaturated fats. Because even healthy foods can cause weight gain, the ADA advises controlling your portion sizes. In addition to preventing diabetes, these basic principles help protect your cardiovascular system and lower your risk of heart attack or stroke.

Foods to Avoid

Your overall intake of carbohydrates and your body weight have a greater impact on your risk for diabetes than the type of sugar you consume, says the ADA. You don't have to omit desserts, high-calorie snack foods or soda, but the ADA advises cutting back on these foods or replacing them with low-calorie options that won't promote weight gain. If you do indulge in a sugary treat, you can compensate by cutting back on carbohydrates in other foods that day. Replace commercial sodas, which are often high in corn syrup, with water, unsweetened juice or sugar-free tea. Drink alcohol in moderation or not at all, suggests the ADA. Moderate drinking includes one drink per day for women, two drinks for men.

Physical Activity

Because being overweight is one of the greatest risk factors for developing type 2 diabetes, the ADA's recommendations for physical exercise are as important as its guidelines for healthy food choices. Exercise suggestions are flexible -- find an activity that you enjoy and gradually work up to 30 minutes of that activity three to five times a week. Walking, gardening, playing with grandchildren or dancing may appeal to you even if you've been sedentary.

Precautions

Consult your health-care provider before starting any new diet or exercise program. Work with your provider to evaluate your risk for prediabetes and develop a diet plan that's right for you.

References

• American Diabetes Association: Making Healthy Food Choices
• CDC: Diabetes Public Health Resources: Diabetes & Me: Eat Right
• MayoClinic.com: Diabetes Diet: Create Your Healthy-Eating Plan
• American Diabetes Association: Diabetes Basics

Article reviewed by MaryBB Last updated on: Nov 3, 2010

Read more: http://www.livestrong.com/article/295279-diabetic-diet-for-non-diabetics/#ixzz1ZZOQt8SJ

One in One

Forgiveness and Healing are one in one. You know you have forgiven yourself when  you are able to speak of your experiences aloud and to others without residual effects. Another great measure of success in forgiveness is the ability to share your experience with others and discover that you have helped them heal in some small way. When you forgive you: you heal a part of yourself that has been hurting. When you share with others, they learn how to do the same thing. You may help someone else with what they're going through simply by being able to say, 'I've been there' and 'I know how you feel.'

Honestly, when you hear someone say that, you really think they don't know how you feel, but when you come to understand their road to forgiveness and you see the benefits of their healing, you may find yourself able to really embrace and open up with that person.

Sharing life challenges with someone you trust can lead to a peaceful heart instead of an angry or hurtful heart. It can also lead you to finally understand why you are the way you are. For some, they have tried life one way and it did not work out so well. It short, it flopped.

But then there is the flip side, where you figure it is time to try life a different way with a fresh perspective and a new gratitude attitude and while you may not be completely happy with the things in life that lead you to this moment, you discover that you have more peace as a result of it.

Forgiveness leads to healing and healing leads to a road to achieving happiness; happiness with all that you have learned along the way. Of course you may say, that's not possible. There's really no such thing as "true happiness" or some might say, "how do you blend the two or is there even such a thing..." I answer you this: understand that regardless of the trials and tribulations in your life, if you are still alive and well then your journey in life continues. There is still much more for you to do to fulfill your purpose. Those ups and downs along your path shaped you and made you who are and who you will become. So - Keep Going!

How do you apply the present to the past? You don't. You learn from the past and apply it to the present. And by doing this, you secure yourself a healthier, happier place in your future.

-DeMaster Thomas

Life and Love

With all areas of life and love there comes residual side effects. Some of them are good and some of them are bad. It really depends on the individual and the issues they are going through. However, there is a universal stigma that applies to both an that is the declaration of possessive behavior in relationships.

Generally speaking, there are two sides to every story. It has been argued that whether it's good or bad is a matter of opinion. So let's look at the extremes and let you decide.

A. There are those who believe that possessive behavior in relationships can prove to be very healthy. For example, it will show a level of emotional ownership that leads to a physical responsibility. Acting on that responsibility shows that you care. To show you care means you truly do love the person. And if you love the person, then you will honestly honor, cherish and adore that person. You would not intentionally mean to cause harm, trouble or sorrow, you will always forgive and you will always come back.

B. Then there are those who see it a little differently. Others believe distance can make the heart grow fonder. That distance can also become a crutch or a justified excuse that never really fully allows the person to fully commit or become attached. By remaining physically and emotionally distant, the person can keep the protective barrier that protects them from getting hurt or from loving or hurting others. It is safe. Safe means not having to fully invest yourself. Less investment means lowering your risks and losses in case the relationship fails.

Which one are you? Are you more like "A" or more like "B"? Or do you feel you are somewhere in the middle? Playing it safe when it comes to matters of the heart can be smart depending on who you are choosing to deal with or playing it safe could block your ability to fully open up, be vulnerable, revealing and accepted.

The loving heart has only one desire: to be loved in return. A loving person only wants to be loved for exactly who they are at the core and for love to find them right where they are right now.

Ultimately, where there is pure love there is pure intention. Time stands still. You will no longer run from your past or speed through your future. You will be content where you are: in love. So if you haven't already, let love find you where you are now. Do not be afraid of the past or anxious about the future. Life will know what to do with love - even when you don't.

-DeMaster Thomas

Try It, You Might Like It!

 

Diversity and creativity comes in many forms. There is the culture we live in, the people closest to us and then there is the quiet voice within. Sometimes, that quiet voice is the best source of inspiration. Joyce Meyer coins it perfectly in her book, Enjoying Where Your Are On the Way To Where You Are Going.

I know thy works: behold, I have set before thee an open door, and no man can shut it...(Revelation 3:8)

  Perhaps God has been speaking to you about some changes in your life and you want them, but you are afraid. I want to encourage you not to be afraid to step out. Even if you make a mistake, it won't be the end of the world. Don't spend all of your life looking back and wishing you had tried different things or done things differently.

 Wondering what could have been is a lonely feeling. I can promise you that you will not enjoy everything you try. But at least you will have the personal experience of knowing. You won't have to live your whole life hearing about what everyone else is doing and wondering what it would be like.

 You are not going to be able to do everything, but step out in God's timing into the things you feel He is leading you into. Go through the doors He is opening. You may even have to take a few steps in some direction and see if a door previously closed will open as you approach it.

 For example, God taught me a lesson once using the automatic doors that fly open as someone steps on the rubber pad. He said something along these lines, "Joyce, you can sit in your car at the grocery store all day long and that door will never open for you. You can watch other people go in and out all day and it won't get you in the store. But if you get out of your comfortable seat and head toward the door, as your approach, you will find it opening for you also."

 Maybe you have a little direction from God, but you don't see the full picture. God leads step by step. He may never show you step two until you take step one.

 God is progressive and I have found that my faith is also. I may have a little faith and so God shows me a little something to do. Then as I am faithful over the little thing, He shows me the next step and by then, my faith has grown to be able to handle it.

Maybe you need something simple like taking a different route to or from work.

You might think, "Well, what if I get lost?"

My response would be, "Well, what if you have a good time?"

Taking risks, calculated or not, can be very scary. Even if the current circumstances have run their course and in some ways may even be unhealthy or unproductive. But it is in that fear that we find faith and it is in that area of the unknown that we find trust. You may say well I don't trust the new place I am going or I may not fully trust the people there. But I ask you do you trust yourself? If you do, then you will have all the trust that you need. You know yourself best and you know you would not purposely put yourself in situations that are not safe.

So the next time you feel like you are faced with difficult options and you must make a critical choice, just remember there is something to be said about the road less traveled: sometimes it will lead you right where you need to be.

-DeMaster Thomas 

A Clean Heart and Mind

It is very common for inspiration to come to us in our dreams. Even in the darkest corners of our mind, there is a light of hope, compassion and perseverance. This post, while a bit out of the ordinary, is from a reader's personal diary. It was given to me with permission to share with my readers in hopes that in some small way, maybe their story would inspire others.

Clean Your Closet (4/2010)

So let the cleaning begin! As each great door thralls open, I am rebuilt, reconstructed and ultimately, reborn. I am returned to The Source. I am whole again. Let the great and wondrous sounds of love and redemption fill the walls of my soul with joy!

 But if we talk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another. (1 John 1:7)

I am free! I am free! Thank you, Christ Lord, I am free!

And the first door opened up and hoards of filth, sins and pains of life poured out and was swept away into misty vapor of nothingness right before my eyes. And when the vapor cleared, the closet was clean and sparkled with peace, faith and spiritual foundation.

And the second great door opened. And the closet of my body opened forth all sins of lust, hate, degradation, punishment and destruction and again the vapors sucked them all out of existence like a mystical vacuum. Once the smoke cleared, the closet sparkled with words of encouragement, confidence, self-esteem, self-worth, patience and care.



 



And lastly the third door of my soul opened up and in it were piles and piles of dirty crusted skeletons and bones, cold and broken from all the I suffered in my life. And with a sweeping whiff of light, the closet door was blown back and the skeletons became flesh and the flesh became life and all who were trapped here were freed. The walls were covered in thick, chalky layers of roaches, water bugs and larva. With an increasing amount of strength, power and might, the Great Light began a powerful, overwhelming vacuum of suction on each and every nook and cranny of the closet.


While great force was needed to heal and extinguish the layers on each wall, it was only a matter of time before it was all gone!

The hate-gone!

The fear-gone!

The lust-gone, all gone!

The lack of self worth-gone!

Low self-esteem-gone! All gone!

Nightmares and haunting memories-gone!

Spiritual obstacles-gone!

The curse of hell-all gone!

And there I stood, in front of all the closets of my life and they were empty of all sin and replaced with strength, courage, wisdom, knowledge, compassion, peace, understanding, faith, grace, forgiveness, foresight and most of all, each door was open wide to accept and receive more. 

And off to each side of the doors were small red dots with the symbol of the New Heaven on them. And when I stared even further, I noticed a soft, humid silhouette that wrapped around all me. It spelled the word, LOVE. I am home. I am happy. I am complete. In the surroundings of love. What I knew of the world was no longer my way. I am born again to start over. This is the creation of a clean heart. Created by God. Bound by the Son. Protected by the Holy Spirit. 

Thank you. I am home.

-DeMaster Thomas 

A Love Story: Daydreaming

VOWS (8/09)

We met in a virtual cafe, you with your coffee and I with my tea. We were shy to share a table, but the light from the window and the breeze from the door made our table the best in the room.

"Will there be anything else?" The waitress asked. Together, we answered, "No. That will be all, thank you." We laughed at our synchronicity. Conversation was bright with many colors and the laughter was seasonably perfected with pain. Our visits became frequent - daily - as if one day without, is a lifetime.

We fell, no net; floating beyond stories of past, present and future. And landed here. In love. And today, just as you were many years ago at the first hello... This is all but a twinkling glimpse occurring in only a minute. And as you are with your coffee and I with my tea, we are warm, sweet, bitter, best if not better served hot or cold.

You see, in my eyes, you and I, well, we-never grow old. And even if this is only imagination - it seems - I do not ever want to wake up - from this eternal dream.

 -DeMaster Thomas