Table For One
A short story by: DeMaster A. Thomas
#091201400P
#091201400P
Welcome back to Solitude. "Table for one?" The hostess says. "As usual," I reply wittingly. I order the same thing everyday; tossed salad and scrambled eggs. I get my regular spot by the window...sit and stare into the traffic. The busy city streets blends nicely with the skyline in the distance. My mind wanders with each gaze and bite, with random thoughts of life and how bad this actually tastes.
I came up with a number of reasons of why my life was the way it was at this moment. Did I choose this path or did the path choose me? Were my actions in life proactive or reactive? What if God has something else planned for me and I just haven't found it? In the end, we learn and grow from each experience. The eggs settle as a touch of gas passes through my mind...
Scattered thoughts tell me that it is a combination of all of the above-and more. After all, I have family and friends that have overcome some pretty serious obstacles in their lives. And I am simply amazed at their ability to move forward with such strength and perseverance. It is calming and brings a smile to acknowledge their accomplishments.
Come to think of it, I've learned a lot from the people around me and yet here I sit...alone...still searching for whatever it was I was looking for. I know that it was not to be alone. Again. Or was it?
Hey, here I am! It reads, "never married, no children". Laughing to myself, I'm thinking, yeah and no career either to chip away at the lonely hours of the day. Bachelor-hood has engulfed me. "Check please? Thanks," I say with half a smile. The waitress is attractive and expresses pity for me behind her eyes. Can't help but laugh a little every time the check comes...wow, how cheap it is to live alone. Yep. Alone in a life that is simple yet unique. It was mine and no one could take that away from me. I have overcome my own share of trials and obstacles and lived to tell. Love, laughter and peace were daily ingredients in my recipe for life. And for that, I am thankful.
Then, I realize-wait. I am still me. I am not defined by a job, social status, physical build or level of intelligence. I am a direct reflection of the soul within. Underneath a blanket of depression, there is a light of pure joy. And with that warm reminder I choose, at this moment, to throw that hurtful blanket away.
This is my bed of memories and I don't have to lay in self pity. I can make a fresh clean path, starting today. I just have to choose to. I sign the check and grab my coat to leave, smiling the whole way through. I decide at this very moment, it's okay to dream. It's okay to believe in myself and be truly happy with my accomplishments.
It's okay to be a bit awkward and misunderstood. It's okay to be - me. After all, who else can I be? No one else is as good at being me than I am. On that note, I head out the door of the deli and promise myself from this day on, I will do things differently...starting with ordering the house special of the day.
Come to think of it, I've learned a lot from the people around me and yet here I sit...alone...still searching for whatever it was I was looking for. I know that it was not to be alone. Again. Or was it?
Then, I realize-wait. I am still me. I am not defined by a job, social status, physical build or level of intelligence. I am a direct reflection of the soul within. Underneath a blanket of depression, there is a light of pure joy. And with that warm reminder I choose, at this moment, to throw that hurtful blanket away.
This is my bed of memories and I don't have to lay in self pity. I can make a fresh clean path, starting today. I just have to choose to. I sign the check and grab my coat to leave, smiling the whole way through. I decide at this very moment, it's okay to dream. It's okay to believe in myself and be truly happy with my accomplishments.
It's okay to be a bit awkward and misunderstood. It's okay to be - me. After all, who else can I be? No one else is as good at being me than I am. On that note, I head out the door of the deli and promise myself from this day on, I will do things differently...starting with ordering the house special of the day.
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