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Truth pursued

Psalm 25:5 – guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior and my hope is in you all day long.

My thoughts; book notes – I think I’m just getting used to the change. The transformation is huge. So big that I can do this this by leaning on my faith and belief in Christ and stay in prayer with the Holy Spirit. Keep your eyes on me He said, stay focused / keep my eye on the prize and I will get there – where ever “there” is. (yes, younger me, I still say this today but now I’m convinced there is Abraham’s bosom aka paradise aka ‘heaven’ or hollow earth below this one in sheol/hades separated from torments by the great gulf chasm. Then out of there off to New Jerusalem then from there to new earth. I believe it because I read it for myself. –

Step one:

The term “Abraham’s bosom” is found only once in the New Testament, in the story of the rich man and Lazarus (Luke 16:19-31), in which Jesus was teaching about the reality of heaven and hell. “Abraham’s bosom” in this story is also translated “Abraham’s side” (NIV, ESV), “next to Abraham” (CEV), “with Abraham” (NLT), and “the arms of Abraham” (NCV). These various translations speak to the enigmatic nature of the Greek word kolpos.

All these translations are attempting to convey the sense that Lazarus went to a place of rest, contentment, and peace, almost as though Abraham (a highly revered person in Jewish history) was the protector or patron. In a sad contrast, the rich man finds himself in torment with no one to help, assist, or console him. https://www.gotquestions.org/Abrahams-bosom.html

Step Two:

1 Thessalonians 4:16 For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. 17-After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.

Step Three:

Revelation 21: Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,”^[a] for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. ² I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. ³ And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ⁴ ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’^[b] or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”)

It ain't over yet!

 

I have been blessed with a healthy eventful life full of reading, writing, books, music, movies, museums, travel, culture, arts, entertainment, and most of all, getting to know and developing an intimate personal relationship with God and Christ Jesus with the guidance of the Holy Spirit. It’s been great. Getting to know Him and getting to know the world and everything in it. It’s been enjoyable for the most part (lots of love, laughter, good times more than bad for sure and yet there are times when looking back on it all, it just makes me sad. It shouldn’t, though, right? A good life is a good life be thankful be joyous and be quiet. It could have been a lot different of course.

 

But still, I feel sad. It comes and goes all the time. Suicide, like sexual assault/rape…I definitely obviously don’t condone it, but I get it. I get “why” people do what they do. I don’t like it. I hate it like God does. But I get it. I get why people check out early. Maybe you live long enough to outlive all or most of friends and family or loved ones and you’re all that’s left or you devoted your life to fulfillment and betterment and it was plentiful and joyous and rewarding in God’s eyes as well as your own. Or you go back to feeling meh, if I left now would I ‘really’ be missing out on anything. It’s funny but if you have to think about it that much or that hard you don’t want to do it. You’re just going thru an emotional moment and this too shall pass. You literally dodged a bullet or whatever it was you were going to use and lived to embrace another day. And yes, there are those times where you might think, wait, I don’t “really” want to “die” that’s a little overdramatic for the “moment” that comes and goes. Permanent solution for a temporary sometimes bloated or inflated perceived problem.

 

And yeah, I get it; you don’t want to die and you don’t want to stay. The fence straddle can be quite uncomfortable surely. It’s a gray space. That line between too far gone and too close to the sun. I could understand if you wouldn’t be missed; but you will. I could even understand if you were not loved; but you are. It could even sort of understand if you were not important of didn’t matter to someone who depends on you in some way or another. But they do. And lastly, I could even try to swallow the hard pill if you were a hardened criminal who has turned his back on God and man and deserved to die for your crimes in sin! But you’re not.

 

You, see? Because you matter. Your life matters. And to have one foot in this life and one foot edging the door to “exit” this world, it’s clearly unhealthy and puts unnecessary pressure and stress on yourself that you don’t need. Most of all of these things mentioned. You “should” matter to “you” – you “should” love “you” – you would miss “you”! Trust and believe there is “something” in life you would miss if you were not here anymore. I don’t care if it was your favorite hobby, food or drink or place to go or person to visit – something or someone – you would miss. And believe or not – there is a moment of regret for most between that moment of initiating the execution upon yourself and that moment of no return; like a person who jumps or shoots themselves or whatever they tried – pills etcetera whatever and … ding ding wake up! Guess what?! You didn’t die! You survived the attempt or attempts. Whether it be by witness, medic, hospital, pastor, priest, family or friend; God saw it fit to STOP you.

 

Not yet. It is not your appointed time. The Bible is repeatedly clear on this.

https://www.openbible.info/topics/days_of_life

 

I look back on my life and think, wow, that may have been me. Was I the one living spiritually emotionally feeling like I had one foot in and one foot out? My songs, poems, short stories, all had a touch or pinch of darkness that reflect a deep to be more than I am; larger than life persona; a man’s man; the guy that all the ladies want to be with and all the men want to be; a distinguished gentleman; accomplished. Interesting; intriguing. I had an undertone of ‘god’ complex; I often wished I were an angel with powers; like a superhero out of a metaphysical comic book. Oh wait. That was already taken. By Jesus in the Bible; even scarier; that’s real!

 

Let’s change that desire. Let’s desire to matter. To more than others and God but to ourselves. If you get stuck in the “gray” – find yourself rambling on a broken tape of stinkin’ thinkin’ telling yourself all the wrong things when they should be positive uplifting and encouraging. The mind can be renewed! Romans 12:2.

You were fearfully and wonderfully made… Psalm 139:14

Brilliance. Color. Brilliance. Life. Brilliance. Light.

When the noise of life dampens the quiet of the spirit. Go back and read this again. It’s not over. Until it’s over. It ends when God says it ends. Until then, get to work! Get to living! Stop living to die and live to live! “Don’t give up…until you drink from the silver cup” – America/Lonely People. Just sayin’.

 

Say goodbye to yesterday and hello to tomorrow. Dare to dream? How about dare to live 😊