Mid Life: Crisis or Crossroad?

So you've reached mid-life...

Relax, don't panic and slowly step away from the dealership...the secretary...the pool boy...and the 'mirror, mirror on the wall'! It's going to be okay. Breathe. There you go. Now. Let's face it. It's midlife, most of us do not look forward to this day. We dread wearing black and cringe at jokes and wise cracks like Lordy, Lordy look who's 40! And god forbid someone gives you yet another card or balloon that says, "Over the Hill!" Who invented those anyway? Probably someone in their late 20's or early 30's.

Nonetheless, one thing is for certain, if you have reached your idea of what you consider to be your mid-life, remember that along the way, you have gained insight and wisdom and you have learned to perceive things differently. You have come to see things are not always as they seemed through the young and ambitious rose-colored glasses. You have come to learn and appreciate the old saying, "money can't buy you love" and of course, like most, you have come to find that "chasing the dollar bill" and "climbing the corporate ladder" only leads to two things: arthritis and migraines!

And then there are matters of the heart. If you are like most, you have been around the block a time or two when it comes to love and relationships. You have experienced the good and bad of healthy and unhealthy relationships, you have discovered what it means to love someone and you have learned to love yourself and others as God loves you...right? Okay, so maybe we don't always get that one completely right. But that's okay. It's all part of the journey.



Because you see, there is truth in the old saying, age before beauty. Things that were considered priority to you at 20, are not as important at 30. And things that were important to you at 30, don't seem to matter as much at 40. This is because as we get older, our tastes, likes and dislikes, even our habits, tend to change. This is a good thing. So you may or may not be the strongest guy at the gym or the hottest girl at the club, but you are the most distinguished gentleman among your peers and the most accomplished woman in your field.

Mid-life is not a crisis-it is a crossroad. It's all in how you look at it. Stop. Do the inventory on your life. Did you achieve the career and love goals you set out to attain? Did you make a string of decisions that led you astray? Were you on the right track and got detoured somewhere along the way? No matter how you got here, you're here! Welcome to today: the first day of the rest of your life. And it is a good place to be, because now you have the wonderful opportunity to apply a very simple but effective principle: concentrate on the present and use the past as a guide for future.

Today, you can choose to make healthier decisions for yourself and your family. If you've been meaning to start exercising and eating right, rebuilding or repairing a broken bond with your spouse, children, family or friends then guess what! You can! It starts with you and it starts today. The Corvette is not going to love you back. The secretary will disappear when the money does and the pool boy is tweeting that he bagged a cougar or a sugar mama literally within minutes on Facebook and Twitter.

If you've been meaning to start that new hobby, take that new class or that much needed vacation, now is the time.

There are several sites with activities, advice and information available online for mid-life crossroad travelers. Now there is something that you can take with you down the road of the second half of your life: that spark that burned inside of you to finish college, raise a family or run your own business, it's still there, waiting for you. All of the things on your list that you haven't done yet, with realistic approach, revisit them and when able, take the appropriate steps to experience them. This could be any of the things mentioned here or other things like write a book, start a website or take up a new interest like teaching or community volunteering. The applications of your accomplishments and knowledge cover such a wide variety of areas.

Many believe that once at the mid-life mark, they lose their ability to make a difference in the life of others and for themselves. Nothing is further from the truth. Maybe you didn't have children, there is adoption, foster parent programs and mentor programs. Maybe you didn't finish school, there are night classes, online courses and tailored education programs that fit just about any budget and assessment level. Maybe you never had a faith base or believed in yourself, there are several churches, organizations and non-denominational groups available that can help you to find the best path for your spiritual journey.

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Lastly, remember that you matter. You matter to others in more ways than you may imagine and you touch more people thank you think. You are at that fantastic point in life that rewards you with fulfillment of your purpose in life. You do have a purpose; you do have goals; you do have a reason. It is not about reliving the first half of your life all over again, it is not about giving up on the people and things in your life that truly matter and it's definitely not about giving up on the 2nd half of your life and doing nothing at all.


It is now, that you take your experience and turn it from success into significance. Everything you've been through up to this point, in some way or another, can be a lesson and blessing to someone else coming up behind you. Be ready to pass on your knowledge, love and passions to the ones who follow. Sometimes, your pothole is their speed bump; your failure is their success. Sometimes, you can help prevent or help someone else get through a similar situation in their life. Your mid life crossroad was the cure to their 1st half of life crisis. See how that works? 

By being a lesson and blessing to others, you will find new purpose, new fulfillment, new reason, new hope, new light: new faith in the foundation of your beliefs, new love in hearts of the ones closest to you and most importantly, yourself.

Until next time, I am De Thomas and this - is Real Living.