Just a thought...

 

how big is the world to one human being except the perception of their thoughts :-)

 

Bible study starter: week seven

 

Mark 8:35 ³⁵ For whoever wants to save their life^[a] will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it.

I get a little scared when I read this verse because it reminds me of all that Jesus had to go through to save us from our sins and what the disciples went through after his resurrection to spread the Gospel to the world. We know from history that nearly all the disciples died a horrible, violent death by torture, crucifixion or beheading, except John. I believe John was the only one that was spared in order to record the Revelation of Christ and lived a long, but far from normal life into old age.

Jesus was speaking to the disciples, letting them know that the enemies of God still hate God and will not care too much for them either. Today, the disciples are speaking to us. Letting us know that believing in Christ and sharing the Gospel is not going to be easy.  In fact, it may be the hardest thing we ever do and yes, even today right here at home we can still lose our jobs, our closest relationships and even your lives--professing our belief in Christ and speaking the Bible as the true Word of God.

On the bright side, this is what it means to be Christian. It means renewing our minds, putting God first in all we do, exercising self-control in our actions and speech so that we do not intentionally sin against ourselves or others.  It means giving up worldly desires that we may have once held near to our hearts. What or who do we love so much that we are willing to give our lives for it? Jesus said, “You.”

To hold something that close-means we will protect it with all we have.  We are ready to sacrifice, let go of or possibly even die for what we believe in. We are not afraid, because just as Jesus was raised up by God, we are also raised with Jesus in Heaven.  Death cannot hold us in this life or the next; not physically or spiritually.  Just as we might give our lives or all we have to save our loved ones; Jesus gives his life to save ours!  By doing this, in God’s great mercy, Jesus saved his own life and ours from eternal separation from God.  And now, by accepting the Lord Jesus Christ as our Savior, we have saved our own lives and will save others by giving them the same opportunity to accept Jesus as their personal Savior!

We must not be afraid to drop our nets and follow Him. He will lead us to everlasting life. Our world purposely makes this so incredibly difficult because it literally changes everything.  This is also what is meant by it’s easier to get a camel through the eye of a needle than a rich man into heaven. We have got to be willing to die daily until there is no more us and only Christ that others see and when they do and they will, we will be able to share the Good News of Christ with them and this gives the Holy Spirit and open door to work in their lives and quite possibly change them like we have been changed. And most importantly, this opens doors for Jesus to save them like we have been saved.

DeMaster 10/18/16

Bible Study starter: week six

 

10/11/16

Genesis 28:15 - I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you."

 

Sometimes in order to understand how to go forward, we have to go back. In Genesis 28, God is talking to Jacob regarding His plan for the world. Jacob does not quite grasp the fullness and the vast size of this picture, but Jacob was obedient and followed God’s call. Long story short, we go on to read that from Jacob, his two wives and two handmaidens, came twelve sons that would go on to be known to the modern world as the Twelve Tribes of Israel. Who is Israel? Israel is Jacob. He was given this name because of his wrestle with God. In Hebrew, it means, “to contend with God.”

 

Stop and reflect on your past and your life today. You will see that we have all been Israel at some point or another in our lives. We wrestle or contend with God. Only to find, just like Jacob, we lose every time. It just doesn’t work. But what does work? Well, look at what God tells Jacob in Genesis 28:15. God is saying, stop fighting me, I’m not your enemy, I’m not the one you’re mad at, we share a common goal, to get out from under oppression, to do better, be better, live better, love more and pass on greatness to those who follow in our path. God is literally saying, hey! I’m on your side! Let me help you! I’ve got this and I know the path you are on the way of your life and where I want you to be. God is telling us that as long as we stick with Him and follow His plan, He will bring us back from the battlefield; back home to bigger, better, brighter days. But we must choose to follow Him and believe in Him. This is Mission: Possible-not Impossible! It is your mission if you choose to accept it.

 

The Bible never contradicts itself. The Bible is the Word of God and Jesus is the Word. This is on purpose for a purpose. Before the world and man were made, God already had a plan on how to restore mankind from sin. Christ was already in the Divine Design before you and I were brought into creation. It’s like having AAA and a spare tire already in the trunk before you get a flat. God knows you will break down along the way and through Jesus and the Spirit, gives you a spare so you can stay on the road and get home.

 

This verse should speak to every Christian. You were bought and paid for with a price. You belong to God. You matter. You are part of His Plan for all people to know Jesus so they can be reconnected and remembered to Him. If people ask what’s the point? What’s all this God stuff about? You tell them, that’s what it’s about! Bring the Gospel to them so they too, will know and make their own choice.

 

This is the cornerstone of Christian faith. Jesus was born, died and rose again to remove sin from us so we can be made one with our Father in Heaven. Everything that happens in your life; good, bad, pleasant or ugly, makes up your testimony. What do you do with it? Share it! You will be surprised how God takes your story and makes it His. That’s why it’s called ‘history’ because it’s His Story! You and everyone you reach in His name become part of His great manifesto.

 

You are Israel: a nation among nations. God kept his promise to Jacob, to Jesus and will keep His promise to you. In your life will have troubles. Do not let that stop you from sharing the Gospel with anyone who seeks Him. The Spirit will grow the seed you plant. And when it is all said and done, you will hear the calm sooth of your Master’s voice saying, “well done good and faithful servant.”

 

The time from Christ’s Resurrection to The Second Coming is referred to in theology as the Grace Period; because we are saved by grace and sustained by the Holy Spirit. And in God’s promise to you, the Holy Spirit will not leave you until you are adjoined with Christ in Heaven in His Father’s Kingdom.

DeMaster 10/11/16

Bible Study starter: week five

 

Hebrews 11:6King James Version (KJV)

⁶ But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.

I am not the first or the last person to claim to believe in God but not trust Him in all I do in daily action and decisions of all kinds, big and small. I will admit that, like most humans, I think I can do it all by myself or that I have to do it all by myself, as if life is some kind of boot camp for Heaven and I have to prove I can get  in and be a soldier for Jesus’ army. But this verse reminds me that I am wrong in my thinking. There are no tests. Exams. Boot camp. Soldier’s story. God did not say in order to please Him, be perfect without Him. He said just the opposite. You are perfect because if Me. You are made righteous through the sacrifice of Jesus and the acceptance of the Holy Spirit in your life. But none of this means anything to you—if you do not believe. You don’t trust Me. Ouch. That hurts. Spiritual skeptic. 

That’s me for a large part of my life. I do not care for humans like God does. I do not wish to save humans who have chosen to fall away from God. I feel like earth and heaven would be a better place without them. I chose to do away with them in the flood, but I was out-voted. If this is you, if you can relate to loving God, but struggle with loving his creations, then you know what I am talking about. This verse cuts past this bitterness and says, regardless of humans in their sinful nature, believe in Him. Regardless how much people let your down, believe in Him. Despite the agony, grief and pain humans cause each other for no reason at all except they can, forgive them and follow Christ. Believe not in the world but in the way of Jesus. Follow Jesus. Not man. Man is stupid, but knows he is stupid which almost makes him smart. But one cannot apply God’s love-if one has no heart. To apply this message daily, to help keep the callus from building up on your heart, to help you from letting faith leak away, I recommend an exercise. 

It’s like prayer, but open ended. It goes like this. Start off by changing the words of the verse to a personal statement from you to God. Like this: “heavenly Father, without faith it is impossible for me to please you. I must believe that when I come to you, that you will reward me if I diligently seek you.” Now it’s personal. You have spoken it aloud. Now stay in this all day. How? Well, it sounds totally weird but try this: start your day with prayer. Open ended. Good morning, Lord…do not close the prayer until go get ready to go sleep that night. All day, stay in constant conversation with Him in everything you do at work, school, errands, interaction with others and time by yourself, all of it. Just keep talking to him all day like a really long 15-20 hour prayer. Remember, 24 hours to you is 1 minute to God. You will have technically only spent a minute with Him. 

But this exercise will strengthen your reserve, reduce your bitterness and hopefully build or restore your faith. You will notice that – or maybe not – surprisingly, He is answering you. The Holy Spirit is actually with you and interpreting your prayer before it gets to Jesus and before it is passed up to God. You are literally talking to God all day. By doing this, you are also watching what you say and do to keep your sinful nature in check. After all, you are human, too and people don’t care for you neither. So put your faith in Him. Not yourself. Not man. Man is dust. He will come and go. So will you. Whatever man did today is but a microscopic spec to what God is going to do tomorrow. To have faith is to believe. To seek Him is to care enough to apply that less than 1 ounce of faith you have to get you through until the Lord calls you home.

DeMaster 10/2/16

Bible study starter: week four

 

Week 4 Verse Song of Solomon 8:7

Third World’s, “Try Jah Love” is based on this verse as well as many others such as John 7:37, Isiah 55:1 and Matthew 4:4. Love from God is water for the heart and mind and the Word from God is food for the body and soul. There is no way for mankind to survive without it. Songs of Solomon 8:7 is literally part of a love song from God to you. And it is beautiful. In order to appreciate its meaning, we must look at the verse before it.

Song of Solomon 8:6-7King James Version (KJV)

⁶ Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame. ⁷ Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned.

This is just a small, but honey-sweet taste of God’s love for us. God is Love and He is speaking directly to our hearts, telling us to spiritually and mentally sign His name across our heart, He wants us to be in an intimate, personal relationship with Him. This also guards us from the enemy and protects us from the harm of sin. The meaning of life is choice. God’s desire for us is to choose Him as He has chosen us. He made the ultimate sacrifice for through Jesus and the Holy Spirit reminds us this is a deep-rooted unbreakable bond. He is with us, always.

It is like a marriage vow between Jesus and His Church. The seal upon the arm is an outward symbol or message to all who sees; you are engaged in a love affair with God. Like a tattoo of your wife or husband’s name on your shoulder or a tribal tattoo around the arm or like a soldier’s arm band…these are just some real world examples of the spiritual “seal upon your arm” of your outward expression of your loving relationship with God. He is saying, wear our love like that arm band or that tattoo and let all the world see it and learn of it and just maybe, they can find that love for themselves with Him from your testimony of His Good News.

Song of Solomon 8:7 has a two really strong messages that jump right out. ‘Many waters’  means physical liquids like drinking water, bath water, swimming water, etc. None of these waters can quench the thirst for love we desire from God. You can flood the whole earth with all the oceans and seas and it would still not be enough to satisfy our need for the love of God. Jesus reiterates this in Matthew 22: 37 “…you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind. And verse 39 says, “…love your neighbor as yourself.” Love. Above all other Commandments, is the key. You could give all up you have in your house and even the house itself in exchange for love and it still will not be enough. It will only leave you naked and homeless. It is a such a warm and reassuring blessing to know that no matter what we go through, no matter what state the world around us is in, God’s love for us is always there and through His Love for us, we are able to overcome all things. Put God first in all you do and watch how amazing things can happen in your life. After all, we love because He first loved us. (John 4:19)   

DeMaster 9/26/16

Bible Study starter: week three

 

week 3 verse Romans 8:6
For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.

So often, while in worship service, a light clicks in me and ding! I get it! Another lesson about God and His character and why He is how He is with us. I came to realize that one of the reasons God cannot be around us in sin is because of death. Oddly, it is not because of the sin so much as it is the death!

Here me out. God is alive. God is life! God is pure infinite energy and cannot be around anything that is dead. Literally, everything in and around God is alive! It is evident in His works. The universe, the earth, all its elements and everything on it and in it--it alive!

Go back a little to Romans 6:23. the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. God cannot be around dead things. So in order for you to be around God you have to be alive which means you have to be without sin! It's all connected. Everything He does is on purpose for a purpose. When we sin, we separate ourselves from God. If we separate from God, we will die.

Light bulb! Enter center stage, Jesus the Christ. God, in his infinite wisdom and love, already made a way that even dead things came come back to life, through the washing away of sins. Now is this a really awesome, layered, multidimensional play on words as such is the Bible?! Of course. Every verse, every word, every letter in the Gospel is multidimensional, multilayered. Now without turning this into a theosophical dissertation, ( too late) , it is in its own definition, the prophecy and fulfillment of Jesus as well as a direct reflection on our lives today! Do not focus on the world, it will come and go and will pass away. Focus on God, keep your eyes on Jesus and follow Him. He is the way to everlasting life.

Much simpler put, to live a life for the world, that will pass away, is to live for death. To live in sin, without regard, without repentance, without repair, is to live in death. Mentally, you are already dead if all you live for is the superficial, surface desires of the flesh. Your body wants what it wants, but did you notice that everything your body wants, eventually dies? It literally functions off of ingesting dead things. If you follow the body in the way it goes, you will follow it into the grave. And surely, just as your body withers and dies, so will you.

But the soul, the soul is the one part of you that belongs to God. It is, just like its Creator, immortal. It is finite, but immortal. (Another lesson for another day). You need to feed your soul with the Bread of Life so it can get the most crucial nutrients: hope-joy and peace. This is what it means to be spiritually minded. You are guided by the Holy Spirit to follow Jesus to I Am. This leads to life more abundant-life more fulfilled and more importantly, life with the a deepened relationship with The Elohim.

You are like a table lamp. You must be "plugged in" to the source of energy you need to illuminate your space. So focus your mind on the Living Word and stay plugged in. This is permanent. The world is temporary. If you get unplugged from the Source, surely your light; will go out.

 DeMaster 9/18/16

Bible study starter: week two

 

Micah 7:8New King James Version (NKJV)

Israel’s Confession and Comfort

 

⁸ Do not rejoice over me, my enemy; When I fall, I will arise; When I sit in darkness, The Lord will be a light to me

 

Some might say this verse does not apply to us today. This passage only applied locally to Odom and Babylon getting happy...watching Jerusalem suffer. It was like saying, look at us and how well we prosper without your God. Oh, saddened nation of Israel, under such oppression, but of course...would be exalted by God and would (rise). In other words, they were down...but not out. They would bounce back! Stronger than before. This is a temporary setback in their promised blessing to one day be again the reigning nation and reflection of not only God's power, but of God's glory.

 

Now, look at, "I sit in darkness." This is not necessarily meaning one person sitting around with no lamp or camp fire and it's dark outside. No, this is more of a figure of speech to say, yes, we, the nation of Israel, God's children, are in trouble! We're going through some things! Life is hard! Those who are not believers or followers of the God of Israel would say they have lost their way and can't see! How to get out.  But the  next part brings it home. Glory is given to God, where it should be, look, it says, "the Lord shall be a light to me." Okay. See? Well, you do if your "light" is on. The people of God believe that God and God alone will bring them out of their troubles and this time of being lowly will soon pass and they will be put into a greater position of peace, prosperity and overall, their conditions, physically and spiritually will improve.  They lean not on their own understanding, but on the Word of God.

 

Let's go back to the beginning of it and put it into modern terms. Our world, our country, our local cities and neighborhoods are infested with sin, hate, destruction, greed, pride, lust, idolatry, demonic attack, satanic, anti-Christian rhetoric, so much so, that as a modern Christian, we might feel like the enemy has won! If we want the illusion of happiness, we should live like the world does, hate like the world hates and treat each other like the scornful neighbor or lying politician, robber or murderer, because who are we to think we are better than them? Where do we get off thinking that we are not subject to their ways?! Simple. Because WE. ARE. Christians! And by definition we are "in" this world, but we are not "of" this world and this life is temporary! Whatever we're going through, we do not succumb to solving our problems the way the world does. We believe in The Highest Power, in Jesus and our Father in Heaven, we know beyond any doubt that this soon will pass! And we will one day wake up in a better place in our lives. Better health, better finances, better work opportunities, better relationships, whatever it is that's clouding you in darkness, the Word is a light at your feet! This is a speed bump on the road to a brighter, greater blessing from God.  Do not grow weary in prayer, because God said you will rise again and God always keeps His Word. The fall of your enemies, the fall of the world around you and all its wicked ways will be forever brought down, but you! You will be like New Jerusalem and you will rise! Rise again stronger than before and not just in the life to come, but in this life, today.

DeMaster 9/13/2016

Bible Study starter: week one

 

John 12:26King James Version (KJV)

²⁶ If any man serve me, let him follow me; and where I am, there shall also my servant be: if any man serve me, him will my Father honour.

My interpretation is Jesus is saying, do as I do, watch how I do it and you do the same. Just like God took me home at the end of the day, He's going to take you home at the end of the day as well. He's going to keep His promise. Let me show you how." Just like the saying, "WWJD" what would Jesus do? Well, Jesus is telling me do what I say like I'm telling you to do it, and you'll be fine. Trust me, God's got you. Well, how do I get there? Jesus is like, I'm telling you how to get there, just follow me. I've got you.

 

Jesus follows the will of his Father, so we should be doing the same; keeping his commandments and turning away from sinful choices that we have control over in our lives. How can we serve you? Honor you? You can serve and honor me by doing what I've asked you to do and in return, I'll keep my word. I'm the only way to God so follow my lead and I'll take you there. Jesus was taken up into Heaven to be at the right hand of the Father and so shall we also, go with Jesus to serve God in Heaven.  Jesus made a physical sacrifice under a spiritual law to honor His Father and see that His Father's will is done. Just as Jesus did, we should also make sacrifices to be honored in the eyes of the Father.

 

Now, how do we do that?  Turn from your old ways of worldly acts of sin and turn your heart and mind to the Word of God and let the Holy Spirit guide you in your thoughts, your actions and your steps in all that you do. This may feel like a sacrifice to you; like giving up your favorite types or forms of entertainment or past times or vices that you believe bring you pleasure or happiness. I'm not saying be miserable, serve God, go to Heaven. No! That's ridiculous. I'm saying that letting go of some of the hurtful, harmful things in your life that are killing your mind and your body may be just what your soul needs to be happy and healthy. When you are in line with His Will, you will be made to walk straight. You will be strong in spirit. And just like with Jesus, God will keep His Word. Jesus was taken up and given the Heavens and the Earth, Lord of Lords, King of Kings and just as He, God will keep His Word with You also. Walk in the way that you should go, as God has asked, and through Jesus, you will not spend eternity separated from Him; you will be with Him in Heaven to enjoy the fruits of your physical and spiritual labors.

 

So, when do I start? Now. If you are not a believer and follower of Christ, confess you are a sinner and in need of His gift of love and everlasting life and start building that eternal relationship today through the Holy Spirit. If you are already a Christian, then this verse is a reminder that we should always be about our Father's business, just as Jesus is, and just like Jesus, when the work is done, God will keep His promise and bring us home. We may grow weary and feel defeated at times, but this verse reminds us, it is worth it. Don't stop. Keep going. God will get us through it and bring us home in the end.

 

 DeMaster 9/6/2016

It was all a dream: (an excerpt from https://dreamweaverdiaries.blogspot.com/)

 Dream journal entry: Nov 5, 2008. 5am. Since at least 1904, men and women of color have attempted to cross over into the colonized gentrified constitutional federal republic as President or Vice President. In my lifetime, I have only seen one technically succeed based on consensus. Barack Hussein Obama. 

This dream came to me the night after Obama was declared winner as the next President of the United States. It should have been a good night to celebrate, but all I could think of was...this is a spiritual war, end of days are among us, best start believing in ghost stories, we're in one.

It was the last year of Barack's term and there was great war on the surface of the earth. All countries turned on each other and folded; just as planned; as the Illuminati, controlled by the Fallen ones; since the beginning, waged war on the world. I could hear the news radio broadcast Barack's speech loud and clear as I floated outside my body over the landscapes of rubbish and broken lands. Blown up buildings and thousands of deaths of innocent civilians everywhere.

I could hear the voices of people crying out, trying to figure out what happened. Some said, if we were not going to be destroyed by war, we would be destroyed by the ripple effect and aftermath of Nibiru falling to the earth.

 

Instantly, I was transported to the entrance of an underground bunker, filled with survivors. Their faces were dirty and some of their clothes were torn. Further down the tunnels, there were others, still covered in soot, ash and debris.  That same radio broadcast from earlier, continued to play in the background on a transistor radio nearby. Outside the tunnels, above ground, there he was.

Obama was there, speaking remotely with US Military on a wireless earpiece inside his left ear. He approached some of the others, appeared as if he was about to read from some notes on some crumbled up 8.5x11 paper, but then, folded it up and put it in his pocket. He tried to hold a slight smile, but was also getting dirty from walking through the damaged areas; his white shirt and brown slacks, taking up dust, dirt and smoke. No jacket. No tie. His sleeves were rolled up in normal leadership fashion and his walk was confident. For some, his presence gave them hope.

His demeanor kept folks calm, assuring them they would be okay and things were going to get better. 

A small group of people not far away, were huddled with their Bibles and one of them said, to the others, "you see? This is proof the seals are breaking. Christ will soon be among us, here, on earth."

Obama overheard them and secretly, he agreed. before he started his campaign to run for POTUS, he also had dreams. Visions, he called them. They continued sporadically throughout his entire two terms.

He always knew we wrestled not against flesh and blood but against principalities and powers; those in the Heavenly spaces. (Ephesians 6:12).

He knew that all the was wrong in this world, started with the fall of humankind, just as the Bible said it did. He also believed that he held a profound place in modern history and was only a small part of the fulfillment of a greater prophecy, yet to come. A catalyst if you will. Obama had dreams or visions of being visited by Muhammad, Jesus and other prominent figures in religious history.  Being that this is only a dream itself, I do not know the inner workings of another person's mind. But I can say with almost absolute certainty.  Dreams do have the power to deliver strong messages that can change your direction in life.  These dreams changed his.  

Just as he turned to look my direction, there was another great flash of overwhelming light that engulfed everything in its path. In that instant. Hell consumed him. The dead perished. The living did not. The living vanished. The dead did not. 

And with another blink of an eye, I was removed from that location, from the inside of Obama's mind and placed back in a convex valley without borders or confines.  I floated toward the exit, feet never touching the ground beneath. 

This was a wake up call. For all of us. If we do not learn from our past, we are doomed to repeat it.  Politicians can't save you. Celebrities and athletes can't save you. They were all dead and gone. In the blink of an eye. 

 

The choice is yours. Hurt or help; your call.

In this dream, the threat was trifecta: human war, natural disaster and spiritual warfare. 

No, we do not know the day nor the hour of the return of the Son of Man. But this we do know. That right here, right now, in this very moment, we have the choice to be better, do better, make healthier decisions as a collective; as one humankind. 

(John 14:6)

If we stay ready, we don't have to get ready. And then we will be ready; when the Chariot comes.

(Matthew 28:20)

Repent before you sleep. Wake up in peace. And know that Jesus is the answer. Today and always.

-DeMaster Thomas

The Thames Cafe

A short story. Young female doctoral student conducts interviews with a retired Captain from Australia for her PhD in Clinical Psychiatry.

The Thames Café (Barking, United Kingdom)

By: DeMaster Thomas

June 2008

...another day at the Thames Cafe...

Student types on her laptop as she prepares for the sit down with Captain. 

Clacking keys: 

Life that is always spent being examined, takes away from life that could be spent living. While examination is important to personal health and wellness, there is ample place and time for this purpose.

Captain starts in on her without warning:

And so there I was standing in the middle of the desert on the hottest day of the year, drowning in a pool of my own existence. What was to become of me? How did I get here? Am I dead? If so, this is definitely hell. If not, this is definitely hell or the divine’s idea of a sick joke. Either way, in order to understand where I was going, I had to go back to the beginning. I had to go back to where it all started. After all, it’s not about where I’m going, it’s about where I want to end up.

This is my daily prayer…the Lord’s Prayer with ad-libitum, which in my temporal existence seemed remedial; a call for the rapture. Yes, only a one-minute period in infinite history; I had concluded humanity had reached its peak; its boiling point of no return and only an incredible art of unconditional fortitude could reprieve such a travesty.  Even if I were correct in my so-called faulty logic, it appeared the only one left standing was I. Oh to loathe one’s own existence merely because fear and shame shadow excellence and the pursuit of greatness; is simply a life left crestfallen.

But enough about me-oh wait. This is about me. The only subject I know everything and nothing about. (He smiles and laughs to himself)

Oh don’t wither your nose at me. As if you are any better. I laugh out loud at the mere thought of such a thing. But I digress. Where was I?  Oh yes. Where it all began. Well, let me see. I guess you could say I was an international bum.  Born in Australia, educated in England and moved to the States on scholarship before most in their country can complete Secondary (eh, heh). Brilliant? Oh yes. I was brilliant alright. Brilliant enough to charm the skivvies off any lad who dared stare Mayfair in the eye without a quiver!

 

Sparkling chap, I was not. To say the least, my vanity was only; literally, only skin deep. Mind me no ugly duckling neither. I could dance, sing, folly with the most and courting was of little effort of somewhat gainful return. I’m only grinning devilishly because the memories are still fresh on my tongue.  The perfumes of so many, the flesh of so much indulgence still gird my loins.  My apologies I…I needed a moment.  Where was I?  Oh yes.  The run of a scam to boot and butterscotch rum, sweetbread and a lil bit of 'how’s your father'.  Ah yes.  Those were the days.  A legend in me own you say? No, not I, said the Captain. I am full! Full of pride! Full of gusto! Full of –

Captain was abruptly interrupted by his aging, nagging wife. Jealous of the student's time and beauty.

 

Oh shut-up you old goat! No one’s talkin’ to the likes of ya! Can’t you see I’m busy? 

Ah, for the love of Pete. I tell you, that woman will be the death of me.  Excuse me for a moment. Please, help yourself to more crisps, cakes, chocs. There’s plenty, eh.

What! Who? What do they want? So what. Tell them we don’t want any and to piss off! Can’t you…

 Excuse me just a moment. I shall be only a breath.

Captain gets up, goes over to another table where his wife is sitting, chatting on her cell phone.

Give me the ringer. (He takes the phone from her hand)

Look. I told you a thousand times over we haven’t got your stinkin’ money so stop calling here and blow it your arse!

Captain sits back down at the table with the charming doctoral student. She is taken aback by his behavior and tone, but does not show it. Composure remains intact. Captain clears his throat and continues.

Oh yes. Yes. Thank you. Damn phone buzzes off the hook by golly. If it’s not the HMRC or a bailiff, it’s someone trying to sell you something.  You mark my word the blooming idiot who invented tele-sales is sitting in hell right now getting bitch slapped by every passer of the gate you mark my word!

Right along with all of the pills of our so-called modern society. Hmph. Donny, Harpo, Billy Buffet of sorts. What say you? His name is Warren? Who cares. You get the point. I am merely speaking of those who I’ve seen profit heavily from our hard-working citizens and give back what apparently seems to be not enough. But I digress.

(The wife is ready to leave)

Oh, I can’t do this now.  Let us meet in the morrow and we shall continue this foreboding fantasy ride into my past forthwith shall we? Okay runner off now. Good evening.

I said – good evening.

````

Understanding now that Captain was a fanatic of his own twopence worth, she was prepared to let him carry on without interruption this time. She continued her interview the next day as planned.

Clacking keys: 

While in the calm of what clearly seemed to be the mind of a deeply disturbed individual, I took these moments of solace to defecate the ill-reputed muses collected over the past couple of hours. It was like watching the flushing run-off of the river Murray back home. He did not know I was also from Australia. He did not ask. So calm on the surface, was the idle of the day, while at the bed, the current rushed over broken rocks and dirt turned to mud and loose sand clogged the veins of my mind at the sight of him. The punishment continues.

So, although as a boy, my imagination was over-active indeed. Still, it found limits. There were limits in pain and even small—well, larger barriers to pleasure. (he corrected himself). Ah, but one thing was for certain. Before I became a master of my own accord in my mental drudgery, I was quite the experimentalist in the “art of entertainment”. Toot! Of the hour, shall I blow my – no, of course not.

No need when the laughter, camaraderie and warm expressions of welcome surround me so. Do you not hear the circus music? See the clowns? Oh, fantastic are the merriments and joyous wonders of boyhood. Laughter and more laughter fill the accolades with love, adoration --- humph. Love.

And with so much joy why then-oh why does my heart beat slowly? How does melancholy find her way to my bed each night. Why does she choose to take my virginity is such an inappropriate manner. Yes, the roses certainly, like they should, bloomed in red and the violets. The violets sung in the melody and bewitched an enchanting blue. But there was no innocence in her reproach. She truly came with an intension and one intension only, to steal from me the only essence of a young boy’s purity – my sexuality.

My age was no more than the number of days in a week. I would say that is probably about how long it took for me to go from merry to archaic. Exploration and discovery of the reproductive functionality is an expedition best served intellectually. After all, what good is it to simply say why does something do this; when I do this? Well, for most of those, also fallen around me, it was more so, who cares, as long as it does what it is supposed to do when it’s supposed to do it? “Do it.” That phrase in-and-of itself was one of so very many euphemisms used to describe such a sacred and undeniably beautiful expression of love.

Warped in our tyrannies of lust, we frolicked in such games as so distastefully called ‘hide and go get it’, ‘kiss and tell’, ‘spin the bottle’, ‘truth or dare’, ‘house’, ‘doctor’…come to think of it, it is as if adult role-playing begins in the youthful banter of mindless touch-and-play. I called them reindeer games. With ages ranging from eight to thirteen. And most certainly at that tender of an age, that thing you want to be exposed to is misadjusted, misguided, miscreants who have little or less knowledge of consequences as you do. But then hindsight is always a size twelve to fourteen. Eh-hem. I mean twenty-twenty.

(Student appeared engaged, but glazed in thought...)

  

(Captain continued)

There were upbringings of strappers and fairs alike. Not the likes of such boarding school back camp behavior. Justifying our behavior with excuses at this stage only entertains rationalization without reason. We were children alone in the secret garden too long. With prepubescence a thing of the past, the gateway had already ingested in my subconscious. Promiscuous pleasure of self and others from those moments, offered up a buffet of exacerbated opportunities. Often so, I reflect on those years of hormonal explosion and wonder if I had made different decisions. If I had chosen another path of physical emotional enlightenment, where would I be today? How would my life have been different? The teen years? Young adulthood? Could taboo have been left without ado?

 

I most certainly would argue that my destination would have been altered. Restraints you ask? Sure, there were restraints: the practice of social discretion, the play of innocence in the company of adults, and the remission of sin in the eyes of good. Most certainly we kept our discretion. Boy on girl. Boy on boy. Girl on girl on boy. And the combos continued. All are experiences sealed in my memory. Struggle within consumes the very core of my being and modern technology feeds my mandates with limited rage but the broken promise of limitless power, it’s burning, it’s hurting, it’s flushing my face! The blood flushes the erogenous zones. Oh my! I can feel it! The sweet seducing aftertaste of her discharge and saliva drips down my chin onto her chest. Her breasts pound with feverish syncopation as the sweat dances on her backside. Ah the skies of a man-made heaven full of empty dreams suddenly open up her golden gates and then!

 

An ever so subtle break in reality into a warm rushing river of psycho-synergy pours over our bodies like warm cozy blankets of chocolate and pure grape wine on a cold New Hampshire night in front of a responsive crackling fire. It is as if the universe sang her song just for you and then for a sweet moment all is right with the world. Heaven and earth could come and go and you feel like this bliss would never fade. But then, as quick as it comes is as quick as it goes.

A family that plays are memories that stay. Damned are my eyes for some of the things I witnessed from family growing up. I have seen my parents in questionable positions with their lovers; I have seen them in their own indulgence as well as in their own care. Not that knowledge of feminine hygiene should not be taught in the home but I could have lived without the visual aid. A simple open discussion with tactful understanding would have sufficed.

Nonetheless if bearing witness to your mother’s personal care leaves you with a certain safeguard for all things in a state of resemblance. Ergo dating may or may not...

(At this moment, Student got up from her seat at the table, flushed with blushing rose in her face, a small wet spot in the seat of her skirt and said, "Oh, I can’t do this now. Why don’t we...no, I have what I need...no need to meet tomorrow.  Thank you for your time, it was quite a ride of fantasy, I, I mean, a fantastic ride...okay, I'll run off now, good day!

I said--good day! 

And with that, she gathered her items and quickly left the café, forever changed.

Captain sat back in his seat, sipped his drink, looked at the server and said, just another day at the Thames Café, eh?