What Is The Purpose of My Life?

How do you discover your real purpose in life?

I’m not talking about your job, your daily responsibilities, or even your long-term goals. I mean the real reason why you’re here at all — the very reason you exist.
Perhaps you’re a rather nihilistic person who doesn’t believe you have a purpose and that life has no meaning. Doesn’t matter. Not believing that you have a purpose won’t prevent you from discovering it, just as a lack of belief in gravity won’t prevent you from tripping. All that a lack of belief will do is make it take longer, so if you’re one of those people, just change the number 20 in the title of this blog entry to 40 (or 60 if you’re really stubborn). Most likely though if you don’t believe you have a purpose, then you probably won’t believe what I’m saying anyway, but even so, what’s the risk of investing an hour just in case?

Here’s a story about Bruce Lee which sets the stage for this little exercise. A master martial artist asked Bruce to teach him everything Bruce knew about martial arts. Bruce held up two cups, both filled with liquid. “The first cup,” said Bruce, “represents all of your knowledge about martial arts. The second cup represents all of my knowledge about martial arts. If you want to fill your cup with my knowledge, you must first empty your cup of your knowledge.”

If you want to discover your true purpose in life, you must first empty your mind of all the false purposes you’ve been taught (including the idea that you may have no purpose at all).
So how to discover your purpose in life? While there are many ways to do this, some of them fairly involved, here is one of the simplest that anyone can do. The more open you are to this process, and the more you expect it to work, the faster it will work for you. But not being open to it or having doubts about it or thinking it’s an entirely idiotic and meaningless waste of time won’t prevent it from working as long as you stick with it — again, it will just take longer to converge.

Here’s what to do:

1. Take out a blank sheet of paper or open up a word processor where you can type (I prefer the latter because it’s faster).
2. Write at the top, “What is my true purpose in life?”
3. Write an answer (any answer) that pops into your head. It doesn’t have to be a complete sentence. A short phrase is fine.
4. Repeat step 3 until you write the answer that makes you cry. This is your purpose.

That’s it. 

 It doesn’t matter if you’re a counselor or an engineer or a bodybuilder. To some people this exercise will make perfect sense. To others it will seem utterly stupid. Usually it takes 15-20 minutes to clear your head of all the clutter and the social conditioning about what you think your purpose in life is. The false answers will come from your mind and your memories. But when the true answer finally arrives, it will feel like it’s coming to you from a different source entirely.
For those who are very entrenched in low-awareness living, it will take a lot longer to get all the false answers out, possibly more than an hour. But if you persist, after 100 or 200 or maybe even 500 answers, you’ll be struck by the answer that causes you to surge with emotion, the answer that breaks you. If you’ve never done this, it may very well sound silly to you. So let it seem silly, and do it anyway.

As you go through this process, some of your answers will be very similar. You may even re-list previous answers. Then you might head off on a new tangent and generate 10-20 more answers along some other theme. And that’s fine. You can list whatever answer pops into your head as long as you just keep writing.

At some point during the process (typically after about 50-100 answers), you may want to quit and just can’t see it converging. You may feel the urge to get up and make an excuse to do something else. That’s normal. Push past this resistance, and just keep writing. The feeling of resistance will eventually pass.

You may also discover a few answers that seem to give you a mini-surge of emotion, but they don’t quite make you cry — they’re just a bit off. Highlight those answers as you go along, so you can come back to them to generate new permutations. Each reflects a piece of your purpose, but individually they aren’t complete. When you start getting these kinds of answers, it just means you’re getting warm. Keep going.

It’s important to do this alone and with no interruptions. If you’re a nihilist, then feel free to start with the answer, “I don’t have a purpose,” or “Life is meaningless,” and take it from there. If you keep at it, you’ll still eventually converge.


Here was my final answer: to live consciously and courageously, to resonate with love and compassion, to awaken the great spirits within others, and to leave this world in peace.
When you find your own unique answer to the question of why you’re here, you will feel it resonate with you deeply. The words will seem to have a special energy to you, and you will feel that energy whenever you read them.

Discovering your purpose is the easy part. The hard part is keeping it with you on a daily basis and working on yourself to the point where you become that purpose.

If you’re inclined to ask why this little process works, just put that question aside until after you’ve successfully completed it. Once you’ve done that, you’ll probably have your own answer to why it works. Most likely if you ask 10 different people why this works (people who’ve successfully completed it), you’ll get 10 different answers, all filtered through their individual belief systems, and each will contain its own reflection of truth.

Obviously, this process won’t work if you quit before convergence. I’d guesstimate that 80-90% of people should achieve convergence in less than an hour. If you’re really entrenched in your beliefs and resistant to the process, maybe it will take you 5 sessions and 3 hours, but I suspect that such people will simply quit early (like within the first 15 minutes) or won’t even attempt it at all. But if you’re drawn to read this blog (and haven’t been inclined to ban it from your life yet), then it’s doubtful you fall into this group.

Give it a shot! At the very least, you’ll learn one of two things: your true purpose in life -or- that you should unsubscribe from this blog.

Update 8/8/06:  Be sure to read the follow-up to this article, especially if you’re having trouble with this particular approach (there’s an alternative method you can use):  The Meaning of Life: Discover Your Purpose.

Read related articles:

• The Meaning of Life: Discover Your Purpose
• StevePavlina.com Podcast #015 – What Is Your Purpose?
• Free Life on Purpose Videos
• Purpose = Freedom
• The Meaning of Life: From Purpose to Action
• The Essential Missing Half of Getting Things Done
• Enjoying the Journey

Personal Reflections

Little Reminders for Each Day of the Week

Sunday

*Today, I will prioritize the things in my life that use up too much of my precious time and energy. I know my limits and how much I can bare. Today, I will regain direction and start the week with a fresh perspective.

Monday
*Today, I will exercise a positive mental attitude. I will remember to accept the things I cannot change, and grow from things I can.

Tuesday
*Today, I will look at goals that I have put off and start putting them into motion.


Wednesday
*Today, I will enjoy more of the things that make me happy. I am my greatest asset and resource.

Thursday

*Today, I will remember to love, cherish and adore the special people in my life.

Friday

*Today, I will be clean, clear and confident in all I do. I will be good to myself and others.

Saturday

*Today, I will find the good in all I do and embrace healthy positive influences in my life.

-DeMaster Thomas 

The Heart Is Three

It's funny to think a person can grow to be a hundred years old, but their heart will always be three. Why, you ask? Well, it's pretty simple. The core of the heart is made of pure love. Contrary to popular belief, the core of the heart is not evil at all. That would be our "human nature", a bi-product of our character, but not the true nature of your heart. Accept it or not, we are all a little spoiled and childish when it comes to some things. This includes work, relationships, friends, family and even total strangers. It's okay to admit it. We all have our moments of O.C.S., Only Child Syndrome.

Remember when you were around two or three and you were always the center of attention? You said, mine! Mine! Mine! A lot. Well, that was natural. It is a part of your being to want and desire to be loved and to attract to things that make you happy. It is also natural to want and desire and attract to people that make you happy. This is where relationships come into play. I like a boy, no one else can have him. Why? Because he's mine. You want the girl, but she doesn't want you. But since you can't have her, nobody can. Um...what?! Unfortunately, this is the broken, faulty logic we have all found ourselves stuck in a time or two.

We have been conditioned to believe that somehow when we get into a relationship, the other person is no longer a person, they mysteriously become our "property"-not someone, but something we can claim as our own. This is simply not true.  The fact of the matter is, that person was, is and still will be A PERSON! NOT PROPERTY before, during and after that relationship. This ideal that we must be possessive, controlling and relentlessly pressured to put a person under our wing so to speak, is frankly a defense mechanism built-in to protect the one we truly love the most in the relationship-ourselves! That's right. It's really us that we're protecting. You see, it's one thing to invest money, time and attention to a relationship, but once you apply your heart into it, that's a done deal. You are emotionally invested and that holds more weight than any other investment you have brought in. At that very moment, we go from our age to our shoe size.

We hard wire in silly pet names that shave down that key of love permanently broken off in the other person's heart, like 'sweetheart' 'baby' 'dear' 'sweetie' 'honey' 'boo' and things like that. Not realizing that unconsciously they are reducing the "adult inside" all the way down to the size of that "inner child." In other words, it gives the person saying all of that a position of nurturing protection and possession and gives the receiver a position of needing to be nurtured, protected or sheltered. While there are healthy levels of all of these things in a one on one relationship, too much of anything will kill you.

So. What do we do about it? Well, the answers are pretty easy, it's the application that makes or breaks you. You see, to open up, acknowledge, communicate, and remember that you are involved with another human being with feelings and thoughts and a life of their own outside of you, that's the hard part. But if you plan on making it last, you better wake up and realize that doing the most or not enough just may be the reason why your relationship is where it is in the first place. Being responsive to each other in a constructive manner means talking things out completely in their entirety. No matter how may ways you say it, you must continue to work on that bridge of dialogue or nothing else will be able to cross. Then apply what you have just learned from your partner in a loving and mature manner.

Do not expect your husband or boyfriend to be a knight in shining armor, a miracle worker or a savior. He is none of those things. He is still the man you fell in love with and you must remind yourself that the things that attracted you to him in the first place are still there, but you are learning more about him now and it is up to you to decide if you can live with them or not. Men, same goes for you. Women are not your playboy toy, your personal chef, your arm candy, your maid, your mother or your drinking buddy at the ball game. She is your wife or girlfriend and should be treated as such. She is not superwoman, although she would like to think she is and women your man is not God-no matter how much you think he can "fill that gaping emptiness" inside you - only God can fill that, so before you come to your man you better have your affairs in order because your own heart and mind may not be in the right place and your liable to say something off the wall and run that man right up out of there for no good reason at all.

Lastly, women, never give a man an ultimatum. I guarantee you 90% of the time, he will take it and you are not going to like it, because you're wondering how come the almighty vagina didn't win? Well that's because the woman standing in line right behind you has one too and she is more than happy to oblige. Men don't think you're off the hook either, because as quick as you are to turn on your woman is as quick as she is to find another man to give her what she is not getting at home. True love and affection, intimacy and positive attention from you is what she seeks most. That's right, women can be men, too.

 

So the next time you are ready to throw up your fists and start fighting to protect your heart, whether it is with action or with words, remember that your heart is just a baby needing love and protection and that's the reason why you feel the way you feel. You just want to be held, adored, cared for, and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the one you trust completely and hold so near and dear to you --- feels the same way. Remember that you are both adults and rational logic must come into play before you lash out. Be proactive instead of reactive and let that same love that brought you together in the first place, be your guide to a brighter future. Like they say in the old south, "you attract more bees with honey than you do with vinegar." 

Until next time, I am DeMaster Thomas and this - is Real Living.

Wishing Upon A Star

The Myth of ‘Wishing Upon a Star’: 5 Real Ways to Get Things Done

Written by Daniel Wood - 14 Comments
Categories: self improvement
 

All of us have dreams. All of us wish we could be someone we aren’t today.

Just like poor little Pinocchio, wishing he was a “real boy”.

The question is; will a star grant our dreams?

From what I have learned I think that if you wait for your dreams to come true on their own, it will be a long wait.

On the other hand if you take charge and make things happen for yourself, it can go very quickly.

5 Steps to Accomplishing Your Goals:

1. Clarify your goals
   Write down your goals on a piece of paper; make sure they are goals you can measure. You want to know when you have completed them. For example, don’t set the goal; “I want to lose weight”.

Instead, set a target, a deadline and right it in the positive present tense, as if you already completed it e.g.; “I weigh 150 lbs. by the 31 of December 2010”.

This method activates the subconscious mind to start pulling these goals into your reality.

2. Make Plans

“Failing to plan means planning to fail” is a popular quote and it is very true.

When just starting out on the path to your goals, it will feel like making a plan is impossible, you often don’t really know how you are going to complete the task so you just start throwing ideas against the wall to see what sticks.

This is good, the more you try the better your chance of success is, but you should still plan.

Each time you have an idea and want to try it out, spend some time making plans for how you will make it as successful as possible.

Ask the four questions:

- What is the goal of the project?

- What needs to happen in order for that to happen?

- What needs to be done?

- In what order?

When you have the answer to all four questions it is time to start the project.

3. Focus on your goal

Make sure you focus on your goal. Don’t let yourself be distracted by opportunities that pull you away from your dream, even if it seems too good to say no to, if it isn’t your dream it is not worth doing. Unless of course the offer is of the magnitude that it completely changes your dreams!

4. Be ready to change your plans

Things will not go as you hope, you will have setbacks and you might even notice that what you want now isn’t the same as what you wanted only a few months ago.

That is okay!

Be ready to change, adapt and grow as a person and let your dreams grow as well.

5.  Take Action

Whatever you do, take action.

It doesn’t matter if you skip all the other steps, taking action is the most important.

It is the only thing that can make you succeed.

Even if you do all the other 4 steps, if you don’t take action on it, nothing will happen.

Discipline yourself to go through with your decisions and make your dreams come true.

All of a sudden you are living the dream

Completing your goals doesn’t have to be harder than this.

Follow these 5 steps and before you know it, you will be living your dream.

Just remember, don’t wait for someone else to give it to you. Get it for yourself!

Let me know what you think by leaving a comment below.

This was a guest post by Daniel M. Wood of the popular blog Looking To Business he writes about Sales, Motivation and Success.

I suggest that you start with these articles as they are a collection of his best work and can help you find additional techniques and motivation.

Good luck!

Don’t Forget To Follow PickTheBrain of Twitter!

Related Articles:

Words That Overcome Fear and Dread

Words That Heal and Empower