12 Ways to Beat Addiction

By Therese J. Borchard
Associate Editor
~ 5 min read

By far my most popular post is the gallery, “12 Depression Busters.” But those suggestions were actually a response to Beyond Blue reader Peg’s query on how to stop smoking. They absolutely do help a person fight depression and the ongoing war against negative thoughts; however they were designed as techniques to use when getting pulled into addictive behaviors.
The last month or so I have used every single one of these. And I’m happy to report that I actually feel a lot freer from insidious, destructive behavior than I did several weeks ago. Here they are: 12 Addiction Zappers. They work!
1. Get Some Buddies
It works for Girl Scouts, depressives, and addicts of all kinds. I remember having to wake up my buddy to go pee in the middle of the night at Girl Scout camp. That was right before she rolled off her cot, out of the tent and down the hill, almost into the creek.
Our job as buddies is to help each other not roll out of the tent and into the stream, and to keep each other safe during midnight bathroom runs. My buddies are the six numbers programmed into my cell phone, the voices that remind me sometimes as many as five times a day: “It will get better.”

2. Read Away the Craving
Books can be buddies too! And when you are afraid of imposing on others like I am, they serve as wonderful reminders to stay on course. When I’m in a weak spot, especially with regard to addictive temptations, I place a book next to my addiction object: the Big Book (the Bible) goes next to the liquor cabinet; some 12-step pamphlet gets clipped to the freezer (home to frozen Kit Kats, Twix, and dark chocolate Hershey bars); and I’ll get out Melody Beattie before e-mailing an apology to someone who just screwed me over.
3. Be Accountable to Someone
In the professional world, what is the strongest motivator for peak performance? The annual review (or notification of the pink slip). Twelve-step groups use this method–called accountability–to keep people sober and on the recovery wagon. Everyone has a sponsor, a mentor to teach them the program, to guide them toward physical, mental, and spiritual health.
Today several people together serve as my emotional “sponsor,” keeping me accountable for my actions: Mike (my writing mentor), my therapist, my doctor, Fr. Dave, Deacon Moore, Eric, and my mom. Having these folks around to divulge my misdeeds to is like confession–it keeps the list of sins from getting too long.
4. Predict Your Weak Spots
When I quit smoking, it was helpful to identify the danger zones–those times I most enjoying firing up lung rockets: in the morning with my java, in the afternoon with my java, in the car (if you’ve been my passenger you know why), and in the evening with my java and a Twix bar.
I jotted these times down in my “dysfunction journal” with suggestions of activities to replace the smokes: In the morning I began eating eggs and grapefruit, which don’t blend well with cigs. I bought a tape to listen to in the car. An afternoon walk replaced the 3:00 smoke break. And I tried to read at night, which didn’t happen (eating chocolate is more soothing).
p>5. Distract Yourself
Any addict would benefit from a long list of “distractions,” activities than can take her mind off of a cig, a glass of Merlot, or a suicidal plot (during a severe depression). Some good ones: crossword puzzles, novels, Sudoku, e-mails, reading Beyond Blue (a must!); walking the dog (pets are wonderful “buddies” and can improve mental health), card games, movies, “American Idol” (as long as you don’t make fun of the contestants…bad for your depression, as it attracts bad karma); sports, de-cluttering the house (cleaning out a drawer, a file, or the garage…or just stuffing it with more stuff); crafts; gardening (even pulling weeds, which you can visualize as the marketing director that you hate working with); exercise; nature (just sitting by the water); and music (even Yanni works, but I’d go classical).
6. Sweat
Working out is technically an addiction for me (according to some lame article I read), and I guess I do have to be careful with it since I have a history of an eating disorder (who doesn’t?). But there is no depression buster as effective for me than exercise. An aerobic workout not only provides an antidepressant effect, but you look pretty stupid lighting up after a run (trust me, I used to do it all the time and the stares weren’t friendly) or pounding a few beers before the gym. I don’t know if it’s the endorphins or what, but I just think–even pray–much better and feel better with sweat dripping down my face.
7. Start a Project
Here’s a valuable tip I learned in the psych ward–the fastest way to get out of your head is to put it in a new project–compiling a family album, knitting a blanket, coaching Little League, heading a civic association, planning an Earth Day festival, auditioning for the local theatre, taking a course at the community college.
I went to Michael’s (the arts and crafts store) and bought 20 different kinds of candles to place around the house, five picture boxes for all the loose photos I have bagged underneath the piano, and two dozen frames. Two years later, all of it is still there, bagged and stored in the garage.
However, I also signed up for a tennis class, because I’m thinking ahead and when the kids go off to college, Eric and I will need another pastime in addition to reading about our kids on Facebook.
8. Keep a Record
One definition of suffering is doing the same thing over and over again, each time expecting different results. It’s so easy to see this pattern in others: “Katherine, for God’s sake, Barbie doesn’t fit down in the drain (it’s not a water slide)” or the alcoholic who swears she will be able to control her drinking once she finds the right job. But I can be so blind to my own attempts at disguising self-destructive behavior in a web of lies and rationalizations.
That’s why, when I’m in enough pain, I write everything down–so I can read for myself exactly how I felt after I had lunch with the person who likes to beat me up as a hobby, or after eight weeks of a Marlboro binge, or after two weeks on a Hershey-Starbucks diet. Maybe it’s the journalist in me, but the case for breaking a certain addiction, or stopping a behavior contributing to depression, is much stronger once you can read the evidence provided from the past.
9. Be the Expert
The quickest way you learn material is by being forced to teach it. I adamantly believe that you have to fake it ’til you make it. And I always feel less depressed after I have helped someone who is struggling with sadness. It’s the twelfth step of the twelve-step program, and a cornerstone of recovery. Give and you shall receive. The best thing I can do for my brain is to find a person in greater pain than myself and to offer her my hand. If she takes it, I’m inspired to stand strong, so I can pull her out of her funk. And in that process, I am often pulled out of mine.
10. Grab Your Security Item
Everyone needs a blankie. Okay, not everyone. Mentally ill recovering addicts like myself need a blankie, a security object to hold when they get scared or turned around. Mine is a medal of St. Therese that I carry in my purse or in pocket. I’m a bit of a scrupulous, superstitious Catholic (I fit the religious OCD profile), but my medal (and St. Therese herself) give me consolation, so she’s staying in my pocket or purse. She reminds me that the most important things are sometimes invisible to the eye: like faith, hope, and love. When I doubt all goodness in the world–and accuse God of a bad creation job–I simply close my eyes and squeeze the medal.
11. Get on Your Knees
This would be the addiction-virgin’s first point, not the eleventh, and it would be followed by instructions on how to pray the rosary or say the Stations of the Cross. But I think that the true addict or depressive need only utter a variation of these two simple prayers: “Help!” and “Take the bloody thing from me, now!”
12. Do Nothing
If you do nada, that means you’re not getting worse, and that is perfectly acceptable most days. After all, tomorrow is another day.

    Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 5 Jun 2010
    Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved. 

Girlfriend, you Are beautiful! Be You! Change the World.

3000 Years Of Beauty Standards In 3 Minutes

February 1, 2015 by Arjun Walia. 38 Comments.

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Beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder, but our idea of beauty over the past few decades has most definitely been programmed into us. Our youth are growing up with mass amounts of marketing around them, as they watch television and participate in life, they are constantly bombarded with a picture of “what is beautiful.” It’s a shame how our children grow up striving to achieve that particular look, and how they can be made to feel “ugly” if they do not fit the accepted model of what our corporations have defined as beautiful. As a result, our youth are not addressing their feelings and emotions, always being taught to look outside of themselves instead of within themselves for the answer.

“If tomorrow, women woke up and decided they really liked their bodies, just think about how many industries would go out of business.” – Unknown

It’s quite ridiculous when you think about it, because the programmed idea of beauty isn’t even real. What we see all around us everyday through mass marketing campaigns are often fake photoshopped  images and looks that are not even realistically obtainable. It would serve all of us well if we could accept and let go of our perceptions that have been programmed into us of what we think real beauty is. Don’t get me wrong, I do believe this is happening, but we still have a long way to go. It’s not easy to re-wire your brain when it has been bombarded with the idea of “what is” since childhood.

“When you start to look at people’s heart instead of their face or body, life becomes clear.” – Unknown

That being said, the idea of what a woman should look like has usually come from a place of authority. Women, and women’s rights in general have been suppressed, and in some cultures, for thousands of years. Throughout history there are many instances where they have not been viewed or treated in the way that they should be. There is no man, there is no woman, there is only human and we are all the same. Both genders have been subjected to programming for a long time, and both have been told what their role is by authority figures.

For a long time, the world and/or authority figures have had a desire to control women’s bodies, and women in general -not to mention their behaviours and identities. The world is changing rapidly, and this is one aspect of many that is also changing as we move through 2015.

“This control is such a deep part of our culture that we hardly ever realize how cruel it is and how it restricts our personal choice.  I don’t believe it’s enough to discuss exclusively the issues that affect a specific group of women. We also need to talk about racism, homophobia, transphobia, classicism, xenophobia and ableism. The fight for equality and respect is very wide and should be inclusive.” - Carol Rossetti

!WATCH VIDEO ON YOU TUBE HERE!

In the video, a cast of models came together to portray what the different ideal body types have been throughout various historical periods. We all might have an idea about how they dressed, but the ideal body types have probably not occurred to many of us. Although some might find this video inappropriate, they chose to wear what they wore to help emphasize the difference between their bodies and to help viewers forget about other things like jewellery and clothing.

The video shows how the interpretation of female beauty with regards to body type has changed over time, but it seems the next period of “what is beautiful” is going to be about looking within, observing the heart and more qualities that resonate with the soul. This, I have no doubt, will become the new “definition” of what is beautiful as we move away from the material, into the immaterial. The post “shift in consciousness” idea of beauty is going to be the real one, something that is necessary (out of many other things) if we are to change our world and the direction we are heading.

I chose to share the video because it will definitely get you thinking about something that’s probably not thought about often. It will definitely have you asking some questions to yourself, at least it did for me.

Related CE Articles:

It’s Time We Retire The Statement “A Real Woman.” Isn’t It?

True Beauty Isn’t Found Through Makeup

Why Do So Many Cultures Idolize The Western Caucasian Image Of Beauty? A World-Wide Issue That Is Out Of Control

This Commercial Shows Us Why We Can’t Let The Beauty Industry Shape Our Children

The Movie Scene Rant That Rips Apart How Men Objectify Women

These Beautiful Drawings Showcase How We Stereotype The Female Gender & Why We Need To Stop

Renew your Mind Body and Soul

7 Steps to Renew Your Mind, Body, and Soul in 2015

Abigail Cardi

@AbigailCardi

3 days ago Lifestyle

Rob Stothard/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Bustle and philosophy partnered to bring you New Year, New You. Get a free sample of philosophy’s renewed hope in a jar here.
In the fast-paced world we live in, it’s surprisingly easy to forget to take care of yourself. Between classes, deadlines, work, and friends, it sometimes takes genuine effort to take a moment and work on number one: you.
As the New Year approaches, it’s a good time to reset and renew. It’s an opportunity to focus, re-energize and re-inspire yourself: mind, body, and soul. After the hectic holidays are over and you’ve completed your yearly obligation to make small talk with your weird cousins, the New Year really is the opportune time to focus on what you want to do — and accomplish — in 2015. Here are a few suggestions to get you started.

Keep a Journal

Let it all out. Whether you want to keep a physical pen-and-notebook journal or write a blog, it’s cathartic to write your feelings, thoughts, and experiences. You don’t have to share it with anyone if you don’t want to — you can even keep that blog on a private setting — but if you’re the type to over-analyze or over-think, it might be a good thing to organize some of those jumbled thoughts on the paper. Get last year’s stresses written down, to make room for 2015 in your mind and soul.

Put Yourself Out There, Friend-Wise

Making friends is hard. In many ways, making friends can be harder than making a romantic connection. But if you find yourself in a new city without the kind of friend you can call last-minute to grab a drink with and talk, it can be lonely. Approach the friend search with the same zeal you would do anything else. Be proactive. Join a softball league, take an art class, chat up the friendly-looking girl next to you in line at the clothing store. Don’t be afraid to ask for a number or make plans to meet for lunch. If you’re finding yourself having a major friend-crush, it’s likely she feels the same way. So do something about it. Your own well-being will improve when you’re surrounded with positive, like-minded people.

Put Yourself Out There, Dating-Wise

There’s nothing wrong with being single. There’s nothing wrong with wanting someone to casually see. There’s also nothing wrong with wanting a bonafide boyfriend. Find out what you want and go for it. And once you find someone that fits what you’re looking for, tell them. It sounds cliché, but honesty is the best way to get what you want, especially when it comes to relationships.

Find a Skincare Regimen That Works for You — and Stick To it

The variety of skincare techniques, tools, and washes out there is kind of insane. But once you find a skincare system that works for you, stick to it. There’s no worse feeling than that of an oncoming pimple, especially if you know it could have been prevented, had you not been too lazy to wash your face before bed. For great skin in the new year, see philosophy’s recommended products here.

Read More

Reading is one of the greatest joys out there. Losing yourself in a new story can be highly therapeutic and you owe it to yourself to do it more. Borrow books from a friend, stop by a second-hand bookshop, or finally sign up for that library card. And if you’re having trouble figuring out which title you want to start with, here’s a list.

Cook More

After a long day, it’s easy to default to takeout. After all, it’s a whole lot easier than taking the time to grocery shop and prepare a meal for yourself. But when you make the time — and put in the effort — to increase the number of meals you eat at home, you become more aware of what you put in your body and your overall well-being improves. And once you begin to exchange the pepperoni pizza or burrito for a well-balanced, home cooked meal on a regular basis, you’ll be surprised how easily it can fit into your schedule.

Get Inspired

The simple act figuring out your goals — both ones you want to accomplish this week and others you hope to accomplish within five years — can be invigorating. Figure out what you want, make a plan to get there, and do it.

Illuminati 2014 Predictions | The New World Order

The Devil Makes Christian Films? YES!

We all know that the slightest description of the true Christ in the Holy Scripture does NOT match the modern day European image or many of the other cultural depictions that have displayed the Christ based on their nationality or area of origin. Is this entirely wrong? Not really. If you think about it, God is all things to all people and who one person sees the Creator may obviously differ from the way another person sees His Only Begotten Son. Even in the Second Coming, when All Truth is revealed and the true face of the Lord and Savior is shown to all people, there will still be individual interpretations of what he looks like or doesn't look like. Yes, even with the Son of God, it is in the eye of the beholder how we mentally digest and file away our image of Him.

But even with that aside, we have to beg the rest of the issues in Hollywood. What's up with movie after movie, film after film, TV show after TV show, getting the details wrong?!

Would it kill Hollywood to just: tell the story and leave the man-made garbage out? Obviously it would kill man's wallet; ultimately, what man cares about more than the Word of God being accurately portrayed on film. Please take the time to click on the link below to learn more about how the Devil makes Christian movies which, in the end, should lead people to Christ, but somehow manage to only leave them more confused, disappointed and quite possibly, less than convinced of the Bible's true power than before they saw said film or TV show. Please feel free to comment or reach out with questions or concerns about this topic. And as always, thanks for stopping by and spending a little time with us here at Real Living with DeMaster Thomas.

http://www.thebereancall.org/content/bible-according-hollywood

 

CLICK THE LINK ABOVE TO LEARN MORE

Finding or Reprogramming Sex and Love: it IS possible

Finding Love

A new map of the path to intimacy

by Ken Page, LCSW

How to Develop Sexual and Romantic Attraction to People Who Are Good for You

Cultivating healthy attractions: The love-skill we're never taught.

Published on May 13, 2012 by Ken Page, L.C.S.W. in Finding Love

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We can’t force our sexual attractions. Most of us have learned that the hard way.
Yet, there’s something profound that most of us have never been taught: Although sexual attractions can’t be controlled, they can be educated. This post will teach some ways to cultivate sexual and romantic attraction to people who are kind, respectful and available. Even if you’re relentlessly attracted to bad-boys or bad-girls, or to unavailable people, you can still develop this capacity!
These suggestions are not gimmicks, they are the lifelong skills of romance and intimacy—the very same skills you will use to keep passion alive in your next serious relationship. .
The Attraction Spectrum
Every time we enter a room of people, we make choices based upon our attractions: Whom do we notice? Whom do we pass over? Deb, a young stockbroker from Chicago, once told me, “You know, it’s almost magical. I can go to a party, and there’s always one person I’m most attracted to. If I date him, within a few weeks or a few months I discover he has the same emotional qualities as my previous partner. But when I first saw him from across the room, I had no idea at all that this would be true!”

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Our attractions are forged in the deep space of our being, born of countless, often unknowable forces. When we encounter someone for the first time, our psyche and our heart begin an astonishingly complex scan, picking up obvious cues like physique and facial structure, but also noting myriad subtle cues such as body language, facial expression, the contour of the lips, the nuance of the voice, and the muscles around the eyes. We instantly process all this information without even knowing it. All we feel is desire or the lack of it. Scientists tell us that a silkworm can smell one other silkworm moth of the opposite sex from six and a half miles away. While our mating instinct may not be as developed as this species of moth, nature has bestowed an exquisite sensitivity upon our romantic radar, programmed to find just the right person to trigger whatever emotional circuitry we need to work through.
All of us are attracted to a certain type that stops us dead in our tracks: a physical type, an emotional type, and a personality type. Let’s say that there is a spectrum of attraction, from one to ten, and the people at the low end of the spectrum (like numbers one and two) aren’t physically or romantically attractive to us at all. But those on the “ten” end of the spectrum are icons: they’re compellingly attractive, they make us weak in the knees, and they trigger both our insecurities and our longing. Harville Hendrix, the founder of Imago Therapy, illuminates this phenomenon in a way which sheds light on our entire intimacy journey. He teaches that these people are so attractive to us in part because they embody not only the best, but also the the worst emotional characteristics of our parents!
Even though we may be adults, all of us have unresolved childhood hurts due to betrayal, anger, manipulation or abuse. Unconsciously, we seek healing through our partner. And we try to achieve this healing by bonding with someone who we sense might hurt us in similar ways to how we were hurt as children, in the hope that we can convince him or her to finally love and accept us.
Our conscious self is drawn to the positive qualities we yearn for, but our unconscious draws us to the qualities which remind us of how we were wounded the most.
This explains part of why we get so awkward and insecure around people we’re intensely attracted to.
It also explains why our greatest heartbreaks often occur with these most intense, fiery attractions. Some of us react to these past heartbreaks by only dating those on the low end of the spectrum. We are frightened of the intensity and the risk of painful loss when we deal with people on the high end of the attraction scale. We often feel safest with people who don’t do much for us on a physical or romantic level because it just feels more comfortable that way. But the downside is usually boredom, frustration and lack of passion.
Many others only date people on the high end of the spectrum, just going for the iconic types, because they believe that that’s where real love and passion lie. With someone who is a “high number” on your attraction spectrum, you can tell that you’re attracted in a fraction of a second. While this can be achingly exciting, it’s rarely comfortable or secure.
In my experience, people who only date in the high number section of the spectrum are much more likely to remain single.
By contrast, attraction to people who are more in the middle of the spectrum is rarely immediate. With our mid-range attractions, it usually takes more time to really get a sense of how interested we really are.
People who are willing to date in the mid-range are more likely to find real and lasting love. It’s not a matter of selling out, because immediate attraction isn’t the best forecaster of future passion. Intense attractions blind us to the actual quality of our interaction with others, and to the actual characters of the people we date. Attractions can grow.
Many of us have had the experience of becoming more attracted to someone as we got to know him or her better.
Cultivating Attractions of Inspiration
So, what do we do when we meet someone who inspires us, and we feel some spark of attraction, but not enough to fall in love?
Sexual attraction is much more mutable than we’ve been taught. We all have types that turn us on immediately and intensely. But as I said, attractions can grow. It's doubtful that you’ll become attracted to someone who isn’t physically appealing to you. But if someone holds a spark of attraction for you, and has other qualities you love, your attraction can blossom. If you’re meeting someone for the first time, don’t make a snap decision based upon whether you’re instantly attracted on a physical level. If you’re not sure, just keep dating. In time, something lovely may happen: He or she may actually become more beautiful to you. And if not, you’ll know that it’s time to stop dating them.
If you’ve ever seen artists working on a portrait, you will notice that they often squint. Squinting helps them focus on the essence of their subject without getting distracted by its harsh outlines. We need to do the same in our dating life. It’s so easy to get lost in the hard assessment of people’s imperfections, but it serves us better to simply sense their spirit. That is what makes attractions grow.
As we start to care more deeply about someone, invisible tendrils begin to grow in our thinking, in our sexual imaginings and longings, in our growing sense of dependence on that person. Our psyche, our sexuality, and our hearts begin to create attachment to that person, to make him or her our own.
When we build muscle through exercise, our body creates new capillaries to feed that muscle. When we create new love, something similar happens. New neural pathways, emotional pathways, new rituals, sense memories and needs get created. An entire web of new connections is created, as our hearts allow this once-stranger to become our loved one. We become specialized in them in so many ways. That’s why breakups can hurt with real physical pain; these lovingly-built tendrils are being ripped out, and that experience is anguish.
In many attractions of inspiration, it can take time for our attraction to build. In such cases, it can be difficult to stay; to resist fleeing in search of something more clear-cut. As a result, many potentially wonderful relationships get cut off before ever being given a chance. The truth is that we can deepen our healthy attractions, and we can intensify the passion in those attractions.
 The more we focus on the things that trigger our desire, the more our passion can build.
If there’s a spark of attraction to someone special, and if you want to make that attraction grow, start by giving yourself space. No matter how wonderful the person, you’re not obligated to be more attracted to him or her than you are! Forcing your feelings will only block the natural flow of attraction. Instead, allow yourself to reflect on what attracts you to them; what turns you on and what you appreciate.
Think emotionally, but think physically too. What parts of their body attract you? What would you like to do with those parts? Take time to let your fantasies unfurl. You might simply want to hold hands at the movies. Or to kiss, or just gently touch lips for a long time. You might desire to touch and caress a part of your partner’s body, or have your partner do the same to you. You might imagine quick hot sex, long, lazy sex, or a really kinky fantasy. Honor whatever you’re imagining, and, as appropriate, see if you can ask for what you want—and no more. That’s how we can grow our passion.
I would also advise against having full sex for at least the first five or six dates. When we desire someone and then postpone the sex, surprising new pathways of attraction form. It’s a great way to grow passion. More important, having sex too early is like Miracle-Gro for our fear of intimacy. It makes us want to flee. So go slowly on the outside, but allow yourself free rein in your fantasy life!
And if your desire is more sensual than sexual, that’s fine too. A client of mine met a man who lives in Europe. She knew she liked him but she wasn’t attracted enough to want sex. She just wanted to cuddle. He invited her to visit but she wasn’t sure if she should make the trip. Speaking to her dating buddy, she said, “I don’t know if I should go all the way to Europe just to cuddle with someone.” Her wise friend replied, “Really? I can’t think of a better reason to go to Europe!” My client decided to take the trip, and over time they fell deeply in love. She was wise enough to take all the time she needed, and he was wise enough to let her.

If you'd like to sign up for Ken's free upcoming teleclass "Discovering your Core Gifts" or wish to receive information on his classes, events and writings, please click here.
© 2012 Ken Page,LCSW. All Rights Reserved

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Higher Calling

Life is funny sometimes. Makes us wonder at the end of the day, what is the point? Does anything I do really matter? Believe it or not. YES. You have heard me say time and time again on this site, you DO matter. Your existence is not without merit and importance. You were called to be more than just a fan of life. You were called to be a part of the entire experience. Your purpose does have a higher calling.

Life asks of us to be FOLLOWERS.  Now before you say, what? That's lame! I'm not a follower. Think about it. We all know in order to lead you must follow. After all, every great world figure that made a positive, motivational influence on humanity started out as a student and then became a teacher. 

 Discipline is a helper to knowledge just as patience is a helper to virtuosity. Take an oak tree for example. Without any extraordinary influence, it knows that it is called to be large, provide food, shelter, shade, oxygen and will be expected to live out hundreds of years. The tree knows that it is called to GROW and FLOURISH. There is an oak tree at the core of all of us. Some of us will carry out our callings as providers, parents, laborers, medical professionals, supporters, caregivers, etc. Others will carry out their calling as officers, military or homemakers. No matter what, the one thing that connects all of us is our calling to fellowship. We are designed to reach one another, love each other and steer each other in the way that we should go. We were not created to hate, kill, steal and destroy each other. We are loving beings, created in the image of love and were called to carry out this love throughout our lifetime.

Now before you get discouraged and think this is just a bunch of "feel good" talk that never makes a difference, have you ever thought about what the world would look like or be like if we all "chose" to love instead of hate? Have you ever said, that's boring or that's no fun or how dull! Well, I feel for you, because it's that same "freedom" to hurt that allows us the "freedom" to help! You were called to be FREE. Free from stress, pain, overindulgence, hurtful things and destructive environments. You were called to be FREE of filth and degradation. You were given the FREEDOM to choose to love - not because you had to - but because you wanted to! You think that sounds dull, boring and no fun? Ask the unsung hero, the committed lover, the caring parent, the supportive friend, the passionate leader, the devoted husband, the faithful wife, is their life boring?! I gaurantee you and will be your life on it - it is far from it! 

What if I told you that you were NOT created to be bad! To do bad things to yourself and others! But instead you were created to love and be loved and live a happy, healthy and fulfilling life - would you believe me? Would you choose to believe me? 

I would certainly hope so, because, you were called to make a DIFFERENCE. I pray that we all find our higher calling and truly apply our skills, talents and blessings to the best benefit of self and others. It is my personal goal to be in line with the will and purpose of my Lord and Savior and my creator. By doing this, I know that I am giving my best to life and good works to those whom I love and who love me. I wish to make a difference by living in accordance with the will of God. What is your calling? How are you making a difference?

 ^"When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”

“Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”

Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”

The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Feed my sheep."

While they were worshiping the Lord and fasting, the Holy Spirit said, “Set apart for me Barnabas and Saul for the work to which I have called them.”

I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. 

These are just a few of many examples where ordinary people have made extraordinary choices to apply their talents to eternal change, ultimately making an eternal difference. At the end of the day, we only get one life-will you spend it doing what is wrong for the world or doing what is right for you and your God? You decide.  

YOU: FIRST PRIORITY

There once was a wealthy man who asked a great wise man, "What good thing must I do to get eternal life?" The wise man replied, "obey the rules." The wealthy man answered a bit confused, "which one?" The wise man replied, "All of them. Then when you have done that, give up all your worldly riches and follow me." The wealthy man walked away sad, because he would not give up his wealth for eternal life.

You see, we live a world filled with good intentions, great material wealth and endless possibilities for physical pleasures. But we tend to get so caught up in what we "have" in the "here-and-now" that we forget about the future and where we may end up. Your actions today effect you and those you come in contact with as well as those who you do not. In other words, everything you do in this life-matters. 

Your choice of lifestyle directly effects others. It is all relative. We are all connected. No one person can do everything by him or herself. It takes more. This means focusing your strengths and abilities on your first priority-YOU. 

Let's break down the story a little further. I will try to keep it simple and not get preachy. 

 The wealthy man asked, "what GOOD THING must  I DO to get ETERNAL LIFE? That's deep! And only opens us up to ask more wow questions like...

A. Am I good ENOUGH?

B. Can I save MYSELF?

C. Where do I GO WHEN I DIE?

D. What do I still LACK?

 

The simplest way to summarize answers to these questions without getting too deep is: a person who had treasures in life may find it that much harder to "let go" because they won't see it as storing up their treasures in the afterlife. They may see it as just giving it all away and not getting much in return except an occasional pat on the back and a temporary sense of gratitude. But it's more than that. All that you have in this life is given to you temporarily-including your body. What is it exactly that you are holding onto?

It takes all of us, working together, sharing all the strengths and talents that we have, collectively, to make our one and only life abundant and more fulfilling for everyone. So the answer to question A is: A true and rewarding life is not about RELIGION, it is about RELATIONSHIP. It is not about MONEY, it is about ACTION. It is not about talking about how much you care, it is about sharing LOVE as much as you can, when you can. That is what makes you good enough.

When you implement all or part of Answer "A" you automatically jump start Answer "B". By building your relationships, taking positive action to share goodwill with others, you become more than just a FAN, you become a LEADER. It's one thing to sit in the stands and watch life happen. It's an entirely different experience and outcome when you jump in and actually take part in making life happen. 

In other words, you can't save yourself. It's going to take someone else coming along and choosing to help you in your time of need. You may have heard this said before, there are three kinds of people in this world, those who wonder what happened, those who watch what happened and those who make things happen. Which one are you?

Now for the tougher answer to "C." Where will you go? Well believe it or not, that is entirely up to you. For every person that lives, there is an opinion or a idea of what happens in the afterlife. Ancient civilizations to modern societies have agreed to disagree on every level of intellect that we simply just don't know what "really" happens when we die.

The three most commonly accepted answers are: 1. Nothingness (limbo) 2. Hell 3. Heaven. As for me, I choose Heaven. This leads to answer "D." We all lack something in our lives. For some, it is a person to love or be loved by. For others, it may be finding a spiritual center or a solid faith base that brings peace, wisdom and nourishment to your mind, body and soul. I personally believe that the one true Son of the Creator did really exist and He really did walk the earth, overcome death, was resurrected and now saves a place in Heaven for me and all those who choose to believe as I do. This is my perspective. Ultimately, you decide.

Investment Tips from Virgin Atlantic

Richard Branson's 5 rules of investment

• By Jack Preston -
• May 09, 2013

• 

As those of you who followed last week’s Pitch to Rich competition will know, Richard Branson isn’t afraid to invest in start-ups. In fact the Virgin Founder has made a string of investments in tech start-ups over the past couple years, but what does he look for when deciding where to place his funding?

In a recent entrepreneur.com blog Branson shed some light on his investment criteria, providing five rules which he adheres to when assessing an investment opportunity.

Check them out and let us know what you think, what do you think is important to look for in a start-up?
1. Does your company offer a smart, simple solution that improves customers' lives?
If I understand a startup's product or service on first glance, then customers will too - and if it solves a problem that needs fixing, there's a good chance that some will buy it.
That's why I invested in Square two years ago. It's a company that was started by the Twitter co-founder Jack Dorsey when he was trying to help his friend, a glass-blower who wanted to sell his work but didn't have a credit card machine. Square's system allows entrepreneurs to accept credit card payments via smartphone. The company says it now handles about $12 billion in transactions annually, and in 2012, it announced a deal with Starbucks, so that customers can pay for their coffees and other items using the Square Wallet app.
2. Is your company's use of technology disruptive?
There are many companies that dress up their products by putting lights and screens on them, but don't exactly make a difference to anyone's everyday life. Such products may attract attention, but unless the technology adds easy functionality, the customers won't be back a second time.
Hailo, the yellow taxi cab app, is a great example of a disruptive technology, since it's so more efficient and responsive than our current options: trying to wave down a passing cab or placing a call to the cab company. We chose to invest in this company because it lets passengers hail free taxis on nearby blocks with their smartphones. It helps cabbies too, since they spend about 40 percent of their time driving around looking for passengers.

3. Does your company offer customers greater choice and better access?
However small a company, its founders should try to expand people's opportunities and choices.
The online coding tool Codecademy is giving anyone with an Internet connection the chance to learn basic programming skills for free. With its easy-to-use interface and lessons drawn from real-world examples, Codecademy is outshining the competition.
I decided to invest in Codecademy because many people need and will benefit from access to such skills, especially women who hesitate to enter such a male-dominated field -- one in which most students tend to be men as well. Already, over 35 percent of Codecademy's users are women.
4. Does your company's product or service encourage customers to share their work or experiences?
The development of Web-based applications has enabled collaboration on a scale that was unimaginable 30 years ago. In almost every industry, more sharing is helpful and useful: between friends and family members; between colleagues, and sometimes between customers.
The best way to encourage sharing is make it fun, which is why businesses like Pinterest have found such success. This beautiful platform is all about inspiration and discovery, providing people with a quick, easy, entertaining way to share photos. It has rapidly become a household name -- and inspired us to invest in their company.
5. Does your company care enough about people and the planet to use business as a force for good?
Every company can make a difference. New businesses can tackle local problems, growing businesses can tackle national problems, big businesses can tackle global problems. One example that stands out is Twitter, which activists have used to evade authoritarian leaders' controls on communication -- it has helped to topple governments. I use Twitter to generate awareness for causes that are meaningful to me and others, like ending the war on drugs, and this is why I've invested in this company.
Similarly, we've funded Tumblr, which is one of the most popular Web destinations in the United States, and it also gives people a digital platform where they can express themselves.
These are just a few of the promising startups that have helped me to learn more about the challenges and opportunities faced by tech companies today. Those that provide services that help entire communities may have built long-lasting businesses that will be influential for years to come.

By Jack Preston. Content Executive. Tweets at @JackPressedOn

Live A Life That Matters

Live A Life That Matters

Ready or not, someday it will all come to an end.  There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days.  All the things you collected whether treasures or baubles, will pass to someone else.  Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance.  It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.  Your grudges, resentments, frustrations, and jealousies will finally disappear.  So, too, your hopes, ambitions, plans, and to-do lists will expire.

The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.  It won’t matter where you came from, or on what side of the tracks you lived, at the end.  It won’t matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant, even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant. 

So what will matter?  How will the value of your days be measured?  What will matter is not what you bought, but what you built; not what you got, but what you gave.   What will matter is not your success, but your significance.  What will matter is not what you learned, but what you taught.  What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, or sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.  What will matter is not your competence, but your character.  What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many people will feel a lasting loss, when you’re gone. 

What will matter is not your memories, but the memories that live in those who loved you.  What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what.  Living a life that matters doesn’t happen by accident.  It’s not a matter of circumstances but of choice.   When you receive something so beautiful as this, you must not hesitate to share it with your friends.

                                                                                             Author Unknown