12 Ways to Beat Addiction

By Therese J. Borchard
Associate Editor
~ 5 min read

By far my most popular post is the gallery, “12 Depression Busters.” But those suggestions were actually a response to Beyond Blue reader Peg’s query on how to stop smoking. They absolutely do help a person fight depression and the ongoing war against negative thoughts; however they were designed as techniques to use when getting pulled into addictive behaviors.
The last month or so I have used every single one of these. And I’m happy to report that I actually feel a lot freer from insidious, destructive behavior than I did several weeks ago. Here they are: 12 Addiction Zappers. They work!
1. Get Some Buddies
It works for Girl Scouts, depressives, and addicts of all kinds. I remember having to wake up my buddy to go pee in the middle of the night at Girl Scout camp. That was right before she rolled off her cot, out of the tent and down the hill, almost into the creek.
Our job as buddies is to help each other not roll out of the tent and into the stream, and to keep each other safe during midnight bathroom runs. My buddies are the six numbers programmed into my cell phone, the voices that remind me sometimes as many as five times a day: “It will get better.”

2. Read Away the Craving
Books can be buddies too! And when you are afraid of imposing on others like I am, they serve as wonderful reminders to stay on course. When I’m in a weak spot, especially with regard to addictive temptations, I place a book next to my addiction object: the Big Book (the Bible) goes next to the liquor cabinet; some 12-step pamphlet gets clipped to the freezer (home to frozen Kit Kats, Twix, and dark chocolate Hershey bars); and I’ll get out Melody Beattie before e-mailing an apology to someone who just screwed me over.
3. Be Accountable to Someone
In the professional world, what is the strongest motivator for peak performance? The annual review (or notification of the pink slip). Twelve-step groups use this method–called accountability–to keep people sober and on the recovery wagon. Everyone has a sponsor, a mentor to teach them the program, to guide them toward physical, mental, and spiritual health.
Today several people together serve as my emotional “sponsor,” keeping me accountable for my actions: Mike (my writing mentor), my therapist, my doctor, Fr. Dave, Deacon Moore, Eric, and my mom. Having these folks around to divulge my misdeeds to is like confession–it keeps the list of sins from getting too long.
4. Predict Your Weak Spots
When I quit smoking, it was helpful to identify the danger zones–those times I most enjoying firing up lung rockets: in the morning with my java, in the afternoon with my java, in the car (if you’ve been my passenger you know why), and in the evening with my java and a Twix bar.
I jotted these times down in my “dysfunction journal” with suggestions of activities to replace the smokes: In the morning I began eating eggs and grapefruit, which don’t blend well with cigs. I bought a tape to listen to in the car. An afternoon walk replaced the 3:00 smoke break. And I tried to read at night, which didn’t happen (eating chocolate is more soothing).
p>5. Distract Yourself
Any addict would benefit from a long list of “distractions,” activities than can take her mind off of a cig, a glass of Merlot, or a suicidal plot (during a severe depression). Some good ones: crossword puzzles, novels, Sudoku, e-mails, reading Beyond Blue (a must!); walking the dog (pets are wonderful “buddies” and can improve mental health), card games, movies, “American Idol” (as long as you don’t make fun of the contestants…bad for your depression, as it attracts bad karma); sports, de-cluttering the house (cleaning out a drawer, a file, or the garage…or just stuffing it with more stuff); crafts; gardening (even pulling weeds, which you can visualize as the marketing director that you hate working with); exercise; nature (just sitting by the water); and music (even Yanni works, but I’d go classical).
6. Sweat
Working out is technically an addiction for me (according to some lame article I read), and I guess I do have to be careful with it since I have a history of an eating disorder (who doesn’t?). But there is no depression buster as effective for me than exercise. An aerobic workout not only provides an antidepressant effect, but you look pretty stupid lighting up after a run (trust me, I used to do it all the time and the stares weren’t friendly) or pounding a few beers before the gym. I don’t know if it’s the endorphins or what, but I just think–even pray–much better and feel better with sweat dripping down my face.
7. Start a Project
Here’s a valuable tip I learned in the psych ward–the fastest way to get out of your head is to put it in a new project–compiling a family album, knitting a blanket, coaching Little League, heading a civic association, planning an Earth Day festival, auditioning for the local theatre, taking a course at the community college.
I went to Michael’s (the arts and crafts store) and bought 20 different kinds of candles to place around the house, five picture boxes for all the loose photos I have bagged underneath the piano, and two dozen frames. Two years later, all of it is still there, bagged and stored in the garage.
However, I also signed up for a tennis class, because I’m thinking ahead and when the kids go off to college, Eric and I will need another pastime in addition to reading about our kids on Facebook.
8. Keep a Record
One definition of suffering is doing the same thing over and over again, each time expecting different results. It’s so easy to see this pattern in others: “Katherine, for God’s sake, Barbie doesn’t fit down in the drain (it’s not a water slide)” or the alcoholic who swears she will be able to control her drinking once she finds the right job. But I can be so blind to my own attempts at disguising self-destructive behavior in a web of lies and rationalizations.
That’s why, when I’m in enough pain, I write everything down–so I can read for myself exactly how I felt after I had lunch with the person who likes to beat me up as a hobby, or after eight weeks of a Marlboro binge, or after two weeks on a Hershey-Starbucks diet. Maybe it’s the journalist in me, but the case for breaking a certain addiction, or stopping a behavior contributing to depression, is much stronger once you can read the evidence provided from the past.
9. Be the Expert
The quickest way you learn material is by being forced to teach it. I adamantly believe that you have to fake it ’til you make it. And I always feel less depressed after I have helped someone who is struggling with sadness. It’s the twelfth step of the twelve-step program, and a cornerstone of recovery. Give and you shall receive. The best thing I can do for my brain is to find a person in greater pain than myself and to offer her my hand. If she takes it, I’m inspired to stand strong, so I can pull her out of her funk. And in that process, I am often pulled out of mine.
10. Grab Your Security Item
Everyone needs a blankie. Okay, not everyone. Mentally ill recovering addicts like myself need a blankie, a security object to hold when they get scared or turned around. Mine is a medal of St. Therese that I carry in my purse or in pocket. I’m a bit of a scrupulous, superstitious Catholic (I fit the religious OCD profile), but my medal (and St. Therese herself) give me consolation, so she’s staying in my pocket or purse. She reminds me that the most important things are sometimes invisible to the eye: like faith, hope, and love. When I doubt all goodness in the world–and accuse God of a bad creation job–I simply close my eyes and squeeze the medal.
11. Get on Your Knees
This would be the addiction-virgin’s first point, not the eleventh, and it would be followed by instructions on how to pray the rosary or say the Stations of the Cross. But I think that the true addict or depressive need only utter a variation of these two simple prayers: “Help!” and “Take the bloody thing from me, now!”
12. Do Nothing
If you do nada, that means you’re not getting worse, and that is perfectly acceptable most days. After all, tomorrow is another day.

    Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 5 Jun 2010
    Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved. 

Girlfriend, you Are beautiful! Be You! Change the World.

3000 Years Of Beauty Standards In 3 Minutes

February 1, 2015 by Arjun Walia. 38 Comments.

Select Language​▼

Beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder, but our idea of beauty over the past few decades has most definitely been programmed into us. Our youth are growing up with mass amounts of marketing around them, as they watch television and participate in life, they are constantly bombarded with a picture of “what is beautiful.” It’s a shame how our children grow up striving to achieve that particular look, and how they can be made to feel “ugly” if they do not fit the accepted model of what our corporations have defined as beautiful. As a result, our youth are not addressing their feelings and emotions, always being taught to look outside of themselves instead of within themselves for the answer.

“If tomorrow, women woke up and decided they really liked their bodies, just think about how many industries would go out of business.” – Unknown

It’s quite ridiculous when you think about it, because the programmed idea of beauty isn’t even real. What we see all around us everyday through mass marketing campaigns are often fake photoshopped  images and looks that are not even realistically obtainable. It would serve all of us well if we could accept and let go of our perceptions that have been programmed into us of what we think real beauty is. Don’t get me wrong, I do believe this is happening, but we still have a long way to go. It’s not easy to re-wire your brain when it has been bombarded with the idea of “what is” since childhood.

“When you start to look at people’s heart instead of their face or body, life becomes clear.” – Unknown

That being said, the idea of what a woman should look like has usually come from a place of authority. Women, and women’s rights in general have been suppressed, and in some cultures, for thousands of years. Throughout history there are many instances where they have not been viewed or treated in the way that they should be. There is no man, there is no woman, there is only human and we are all the same. Both genders have been subjected to programming for a long time, and both have been told what their role is by authority figures.

For a long time, the world and/or authority figures have had a desire to control women’s bodies, and women in general -not to mention their behaviours and identities. The world is changing rapidly, and this is one aspect of many that is also changing as we move through 2015.

“This control is such a deep part of our culture that we hardly ever realize how cruel it is and how it restricts our personal choice.  I don’t believe it’s enough to discuss exclusively the issues that affect a specific group of women. We also need to talk about racism, homophobia, transphobia, classicism, xenophobia and ableism. The fight for equality and respect is very wide and should be inclusive.” - Carol Rossetti

!WATCH VIDEO ON YOU TUBE HERE!

In the video, a cast of models came together to portray what the different ideal body types have been throughout various historical periods. We all might have an idea about how they dressed, but the ideal body types have probably not occurred to many of us. Although some might find this video inappropriate, they chose to wear what they wore to help emphasize the difference between their bodies and to help viewers forget about other things like jewellery and clothing.

The video shows how the interpretation of female beauty with regards to body type has changed over time, but it seems the next period of “what is beautiful” is going to be about looking within, observing the heart and more qualities that resonate with the soul. This, I have no doubt, will become the new “definition” of what is beautiful as we move away from the material, into the immaterial. The post “shift in consciousness” idea of beauty is going to be the real one, something that is necessary (out of many other things) if we are to change our world and the direction we are heading.

I chose to share the video because it will definitely get you thinking about something that’s probably not thought about often. It will definitely have you asking some questions to yourself, at least it did for me.

Related CE Articles:

It’s Time We Retire The Statement “A Real Woman.” Isn’t It?

True Beauty Isn’t Found Through Makeup

Why Do So Many Cultures Idolize The Western Caucasian Image Of Beauty? A World-Wide Issue That Is Out Of Control

This Commercial Shows Us Why We Can’t Let The Beauty Industry Shape Our Children

The Movie Scene Rant That Rips Apart How Men Objectify Women

These Beautiful Drawings Showcase How We Stereotype The Female Gender & Why We Need To Stop

Renew your Mind Body and Soul

7 Steps to Renew Your Mind, Body, and Soul in 2015

Abigail Cardi

@AbigailCardi

3 days ago Lifestyle

Rob Stothard/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Bustle and philosophy partnered to bring you New Year, New You. Get a free sample of philosophy’s renewed hope in a jar here.
In the fast-paced world we live in, it’s surprisingly easy to forget to take care of yourself. Between classes, deadlines, work, and friends, it sometimes takes genuine effort to take a moment and work on number one: you.
As the New Year approaches, it’s a good time to reset and renew. It’s an opportunity to focus, re-energize and re-inspire yourself: mind, body, and soul. After the hectic holidays are over and you’ve completed your yearly obligation to make small talk with your weird cousins, the New Year really is the opportune time to focus on what you want to do — and accomplish — in 2015. Here are a few suggestions to get you started.

Keep a Journal

Let it all out. Whether you want to keep a physical pen-and-notebook journal or write a blog, it’s cathartic to write your feelings, thoughts, and experiences. You don’t have to share it with anyone if you don’t want to — you can even keep that blog on a private setting — but if you’re the type to over-analyze or over-think, it might be a good thing to organize some of those jumbled thoughts on the paper. Get last year’s stresses written down, to make room for 2015 in your mind and soul.

Put Yourself Out There, Friend-Wise

Making friends is hard. In many ways, making friends can be harder than making a romantic connection. But if you find yourself in a new city without the kind of friend you can call last-minute to grab a drink with and talk, it can be lonely. Approach the friend search with the same zeal you would do anything else. Be proactive. Join a softball league, take an art class, chat up the friendly-looking girl next to you in line at the clothing store. Don’t be afraid to ask for a number or make plans to meet for lunch. If you’re finding yourself having a major friend-crush, it’s likely she feels the same way. So do something about it. Your own well-being will improve when you’re surrounded with positive, like-minded people.

Put Yourself Out There, Dating-Wise

There’s nothing wrong with being single. There’s nothing wrong with wanting someone to casually see. There’s also nothing wrong with wanting a bonafide boyfriend. Find out what you want and go for it. And once you find someone that fits what you’re looking for, tell them. It sounds cliché, but honesty is the best way to get what you want, especially when it comes to relationships.

Find a Skincare Regimen That Works for You — and Stick To it

The variety of skincare techniques, tools, and washes out there is kind of insane. But once you find a skincare system that works for you, stick to it. There’s no worse feeling than that of an oncoming pimple, especially if you know it could have been prevented, had you not been too lazy to wash your face before bed. For great skin in the new year, see philosophy’s recommended products here.

Read More

Reading is one of the greatest joys out there. Losing yourself in a new story can be highly therapeutic and you owe it to yourself to do it more. Borrow books from a friend, stop by a second-hand bookshop, or finally sign up for that library card. And if you’re having trouble figuring out which title you want to start with, here’s a list.

Cook More

After a long day, it’s easy to default to takeout. After all, it’s a whole lot easier than taking the time to grocery shop and prepare a meal for yourself. But when you make the time — and put in the effort — to increase the number of meals you eat at home, you become more aware of what you put in your body and your overall well-being improves. And once you begin to exchange the pepperoni pizza or burrito for a well-balanced, home cooked meal on a regular basis, you’ll be surprised how easily it can fit into your schedule.

Get Inspired

The simple act figuring out your goals — both ones you want to accomplish this week and others you hope to accomplish within five years — can be invigorating. Figure out what you want, make a plan to get there, and do it.